The Tyranny of Tradition
Posts Tagged boxing
Former Iron Maiden Singer Paul Di’Anno KOed in Seventh Round by Boxing Kangaroo
Posted by Keith Spillett in General Weirdness on October 11, 2013
Last night, Caesar’s Palace was the scene of one of the most anticipated boxing matches in recent memory as Humsy, a boxing kangaroo from Perth, Australia, knocked out former Iron Maiden vocalist Paul Di’Anno with a stunning display of speed and power. Di’Anno had recorded a 17-1 record over the last five years, with his only loss coming in a controversial twelve round decision last October against a bear. A victory against Humsy would have given Di’Anno a shot to fight Momo the Giant Narwhal, the current reigning MBF heavyweight champion.
Humsy, a relative newcomer to the metal vocalists versus animals boxing scene, seemed unphased by the boisterous Las Vegas crowd. He danced around the ring, reminding many reporters of a young Cassius Clay, repeatedly pounding Di’Anno with jabs to the face and chest. Di’Anno landed several solid blows early, but was worn down by Humsy’s vicious bobbing and weaving as well as his years of drinking Koch’s Golden Anniversary, making bad albums and playing children’s birthday parties.
In the seventh round, Di’Anno lunged clumsily at Humsy with a right hook and was left wide open for a left-hand cross that knocked him to the mat for the fourth and final time. The man who recorded two of the finest metal records in the history of the genre clutched at the ropes trying to pull himself up, but was never able to get to his feet. As the ref counted Di’Anno out, Humsy was fed a cookie by his handler as and bounced around the ring to waves of wild cheering from the capacity crowd.
Humsy is already looking at a potential pay-per-view matchup against former, current Queensryche vocalist Geoff Tate in a match that some experts have dubbed “The Fight of the Century”. Tate, who recently pummeled a seal into a coma during a September fight at SeaWorld, is the number one ranked contender for the heavyweight crown. Humsy’s trainer Angelo Caprice, however, has indicated he’d be open to fighting lesser known vocalists like Metal Church singer Mike Howe, who has fallen on hard times recently and is so broke he can’t afford to pay attention.
Australians, boxing, Boxing Kangaroos, cassius clay, Geoff Tate, Iron Maiden, Koch's Golden Anniversary, metal church, Mike Howe, muhammad ali, Narwhals, Paul Di'Anno, Queensrÿche, Queensryche Starring Geoff Tate The Original Voice, Queensryche With Todd LaTorre, SeaWorld, Shrek
Fellow Deranged Wanderers
- 5,407,237 lives ruined
Recent Posts
- Ozzy Checks Into Rehabilitation Center For Addiction To Marzipan
- Wormrot Still “Worst Funeral Drone Doom Band”
- How Jaded Reviewers See Metal Reviews
- Rihanna Signs with Unique Leader Records
- Donald Trump Revealed To Be First Cro-Mags Singer
- Fleshgod Apocalypse Drummer Passes Turing Test
- Abbath Comes Out
- Pokémon GO: Jamey Jasta Caught in Florida for Trespassing
Categories
- Articles I Probably Shouldn't Have Bothered Writing
- Basketball Coaching Nonsense
- BlaK Dan's Theatre of Cruelty
- Blithering Sports Fan Prattle
- Excessive Cruelty Towards Strangers
- Existential Rambings
- General Weirdness
- Health Tips for An Early Death
- HEAVY METAL MUST BE DESTROYED
- Here's Why I Dislike You So Much
- King Diamond For President in 2012
- Mr. Spillett's Academy Of Film Study For The Mentally Tormented
- Notes on Carcass Heartwork
- Parenting Tips For Those With Children
- People Who Were Willing To Speak To Me
- Pointless Music Reviews
- Pointyheaded Highbrow Stuff
- Really Brilliant Things You Should Read But Probably Won't Because You Are A Pantera Fan
- Sunday Funnies
- The Exorcism of Glen Benton
- The One Time I Left The House
- The Poetry of Death
- The Politics Of Catastrophe
- The Resurrection of Michael Jackson
- The Sarah Palin Fiasco
- Totally Useless Information
- Uncategorized
- UnMusic
Archives
- November 2017
- October 2016
- September 2016
- August 2016
- July 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- October 2012
- September 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
Top Posts & Pages
- George Clooney Agrees to Buy Bones of Bathory’s Quorthon For 1.6 Million Dollars
- Former Night Court Star Richard Moll Introduced As New Vocalist For Napalm Death
- Danzig To Sue Everyone On Earth
- Neill Jameson of Krieg Reconciles With Estranged Porn Star Sister
- Mott The Hoople Inducted Into Rock And Roll Hall of Fame For Seventh Time
- Atlanta Falcons Fire Former Suffocation Drummer Mike Smith
- Deicide’s Glen Benton Saves Baby From Burning Building; Throws It Back
- Venom Singer Saddened By Royal Snub
- Manowar Secedes From United States Over Obama’s “False Metal Agenda”
- Georgia Bans Cute Pictures of Kittens From Facebook
Words
Abbath art Atlanta barack obama Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories baseball basketball Black metal Black Sabbath Burzum Carcass Cronos Danzig dave mustaine death Deicide existential dread existentialism fear freedom Glenn Danzig God Health Heartwork heavy metal heavy metal music Hipsters Human Humor Iron Maiden James Hetfield Jeffrey Walker Jeff Walker Judas Priest Kerry King King Diamond King Diamond For President in 2012 Lars Ulrich Lemmy liberty Manowar Marshall McLuhan megadeth Mercyful Fate Metal Metallica Mitt Romney Morbid Angel Music NBA Ozzy Ozzy Osbourne Pantera Phil Anselmo philosophy politics President Religion and Spirituality Republican Richard Nixon Rick Santorum Ronald Reagan Satan Shopping silkk the shocker Slayer suffering Sweden terrorism Testament Tony Iommi United States Varg Vikernes Venom weird