Days after a group of armed protestors took over a wildlife refuge in Oregon, an armed group of “five heavy metal warriors united for the liberation of America” known as The Montana Metal Militia walked into the Evel Knievel Center for Wildlife and Motorcycle Safety in Butte, forced the lone employee to leave and told authorities they would not allow anyone in or out of the building until tech-death legends Necrophagist release a new album.
The Montana Metal Militia is a group that, according to their website, seeks to “free America from the tyrannical grip of socialism and hip hop”. They are not to be confused with the smaller, lesser-known Montana Metal Mulisha, who have advocated violent revolution against the “Marxist hegemony of Obama, Rosie O’Donnell and Kanye West.”
The Metal Militia’s leader Clyde Wayne Gacy told police that he and his followers would not leave the building until Necrophagist gets back in the studio and records a minimum of 45 minutes of music. In a fiery speech in front of the Wildlife building, Gacy shouted through his megaphone “it’s time for all Americans to stand up against injustice. Because if you are not standing up against injustice, you are sitting down! And sitting down is wrong!”
In a brief interview with local television station KERF, Gacy maintained that what his group was doing was no different than what the Founding Fathers did.
“Look…we’ve written letters to Necrophagist. We’ve sent emails. We’ve gone to their homes in the middle of the night banging on their doors. We’ve threatened the lives of their family members and those close to them. Still…nothing since 2004! If the Founding Fathers hadn’t stood for what was right we’d still be drinking tea at four in the afternoon and paying taxes to an unresponsive, disinterested government that doesn’t represent us. Bottom line…we want a new Necrophagist album now or we ain’t leaving!!!”
According to a memo sent out by the group’s legal expert Bronco Gein, a law student in his first semester at Flathead Valley Community College, the band’s refusal to release a new album is not only bad for the metal community and America as a whole but it is also unconstitutional.
“If you read the 10th Amendment to the Constitution, it clearly states that ‘The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people’ This means ‘we the people’ have the power to do whatever we need to do until we get what we want. If that means violence, well hell, let’s roll.”
#1 by Kelly Jones on January 4, 2016 - 6:16 PM
What in the hell is this that is not Gacy… nor is that Montana Metal Militia That’s THC the band you idiots. And Gacy up there is BigDad Ritch the lead singet and they have ZERO to do with that shit up there !!!!
#2 by Kelly Jones on January 4, 2016 - 7:08 PM
I mean wouldn’t someone with some imagination use a pic with 100 people like why not a bunch of skinheads not smiley up there ?
#3 by Keith Spillett on January 4, 2016 - 7:27 PM
We don’t create the news. As journalists, it is our responsibility to present the facts as they happen. Our audience turns to us as a trusted source of truth in an uncertain world. We take this responsibility quite seriously.
#4 by Michael on January 6, 2016 - 5:50 PM
Now is Clyde, Johns first or second cousin.
#5 by Jeremy Bernat on January 5, 2016 - 8:59 AM
The Band Is Texas Hippie Coalition and Kelly thank god i have witness the writer of this article needs to re write this article especially and find better sources!!!!
#6 by Jeremy Bernat on January 5, 2016 - 9:12 AM
Do Ur homework at least get the band name right as well as the memembers!!!!!
#7 by Keith Spillett on January 5, 2016 - 2:12 PM
I stand behind our sources 100 percent. This article was reviewed by an editorial staff of over 500 editors. It has also been peer reviewed by no less than 15 notable university professors. U’r wrong, pal.
#8 by Justin Rossi on January 6, 2016 - 11:17 AM
You and your dickwad sources are dead wrong that band is THC just as everyone else has said fucking Google it dipshit!!!
#9 by Keith Spillett on January 6, 2016 - 1:51 PM
I don’t know why you think it’s fun to go on the internet and tell lies, but for whatever reason, I beg you, stop distorting reality and confusing people. This is a serious matter and deserves to be spoken of with the utmost seriousness.
#10 by Brian Milford on January 5, 2016 - 11:38 AM
You guys suck with your info !!! THAT’S NOT METAL MALITIA…THAT’S….RED DIRT METAL…A BAND OF…OUTLAWS…CALLED TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION…AND FAMILY \,,/ \,,/ Get your facts and bands right before you guys post shit like this !!! F.F.F.
#11 by Keith Spillett on January 5, 2016 - 2:10 PM
#12 by RichD on January 5, 2016 - 2:02 PM
my head hurts…. Is this The Onion or am I having a bad dream? That is Texas Hippie Coalition you choad.
#13 by Bobby Kilgore on January 6, 2016 - 3:39 AM
ok everyone! I served this country so that this shit mummy could write all the propaganda he wants!….”Carry on shit mummy”!
#14 by Keith Spillett on January 6, 2016 - 1:53 PM
I don’t understand what you working as a waiter has to do with mummies.
#15 by Metal Mike on January 6, 2016 - 7:06 PM
Dude we’ll all be dead before Necrophagist release anything REMOTELY new. But this was hysterical yet again.
#16 by Keith Spillett on January 6, 2016 - 7:54 PM
Thanks! I figure if we bug them enough they’ll give us something! Someday!!!!
#17 by Antonymity (@antonymity) on January 8, 2016 - 3:31 AM
is nearly everyone here stupid? acting like this is real. bonus: being able to visually identify that shit redneck band does not make you cool. go eat horse manure you posers.
#18 by Delirious Gonad on January 8, 2016 - 10:55 AM
Yay – finally some worthy news courtsey of Mr. Spillett! Or should that be “Spillett”? Some of the previous posters made me wary… There’s something fishy going on with this blog. Since photographs on the internet can’t be misappropriated I’m getting it now… Tyranny of Tradition used to be my to-go place for unbiased journalistic excellence. In fact, we’ve all been had by lone gunman and sometime-Alejandro Jodorowsky-impersonator El Topo. Do what thou wilt with the truth, sheeple!
#19 by Keith Spillett on January 8, 2016 - 11:21 AM
We are the truth, everything else is lies!
#20 by Larry on January 10, 2016 - 12:34 PM
Your supposed to research then write your article. Where did you get your information? That’s Texas Hippie Coalition! In fact here’s an idea for you, go to YouTube, type in Texas Hippie Coalition. For shits and giggles come back and tell us we’re all wrong! Go on now, do it! I triple dog dare you.
#21 by Keith Spillett on January 10, 2016 - 2:09 PM
I just looked. There is no such band as “the Texas Hippie Coalition” (like someone would ACTUALLY name a band that!)
You tricked me into looking up some fake band on youtube. Hope you’re happy.
#22 by AlphaOmega on February 9, 2016 - 7:23 PM
Don’t worry, Keith. I get it. Very well done, kudos!
It seems like the band fell off the face of the earth the past handful of years. Does the guitarist no longer do interviews?
#23 by Keith Spillett on February 9, 2016 - 9:43 PM
Thanks! I saw one a ways back. He seems like he’d be a fun guy to sit down and drink some paint thinner with. I dig their act, but I haven’t followed their career path the last few years.