The Tyranny of Tradition

Montana Metal Militia Founder Clyde Wayne Gacy and His Followers Minutes Before The Takeover

Days after a group of armed protestors took over a wildlife refuge in Oregon, an armed group of “five heavy metal warriors united for the liberation of America” known as The Montana Metal Militia walked into the Evel Knievel Center for Wildlife and Motorcycle Safety in Butte, forced the lone employee to leave and told authorities they would not allow anyone in or out of the building until tech-death legends Necrophagist release a new album.

The Montana Metal Militia is a group that, according to their website, seeks to “free America from the tyrannical grip of socialism and hip hop”. They are not to be confused with the smaller, lesser-known Montana Metal Mulisha, who have advocated violent revolution against the “Marxist hegemony of Obama, Rosie O’Donnell and Kanye West.”

The Metal Militia’s leader Clyde Wayne Gacy told police that he and his followers would not leave the building until Necrophagist gets back in the studio and records a minimum of 45 minutes of music. In a fiery speech in front of the Wildlife building, Gacy shouted through his megaphone “it’s time for all Americans to stand up against injustice. Because if you are not standing up against injustice, you are sitting down! And sitting down is wrong!”

Gacy In An Exclusive Interview With KERF Reporter Sabrina Erdley

In a brief interview with local television station KERF, Gacy maintained that what his group was doing was no different than what the Founding Fathers did.

“Look…we’ve written letters to Necrophagist. We’ve sent emails. We’ve gone to their homes in the middle of the night banging on their doors. We’ve threatened the lives of their family members and those close to them. Still…nothing since 2004! If the Founding Fathers hadn’t stood for what was right we’d still be drinking tea at four in the afternoon and paying taxes to an unresponsive, disinterested government that doesn’t represent us. Bottom line…we want a new Necrophagist album now or we ain’t leaving!!!”

12 Years And Counting…No Album!

According to a memo sent out by the group’s legal expert Bronco Gein, a law student in his first semester at Flathead Valley Community College, the band’s refusal to release a new album is not only bad for the metal community and America as a whole but it is also unconstitutional.

“If you read the 10^th Amendment to the Constitution, it clearly states that ‘The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people’ This means ‘we the people’ have the power to do whatever we need to do until we get what we want.  If that means violence, well hell, let’s roll.”