While most of Merzbow’s over 44,983 albums have flown under the American musical radar, the legendary experimental Japanese noise project of Masami Akita has been creating some of the most innovative and popular music in the world since 1963. Merzbow has scored 52 top 10 hits in the war torn-nation of Burkina Faso and is a regular performer on The Ngoc Ngo Hour (the Mynamarian equivalent of The Ed Sullivan Show). This week they plan on releasing their 17 newest albums putting them at 45,000, only 1347 less than The Melvins who hold the record for most albums ever recorded. In honor of that feat, we proudly present our list of the Top 25 Merzbow albums of all time.
25. The Sights and Sounds of The Spanish Inquisition
24. A 3000-Pound Squid Eating 3 Sailors off The Coast of Japan
23. Merzbow Covers Frank Sinatra’s Greatest Hits Using Only A Sonicare Toothbrush
22. A Reenactment of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake (featuring Ke$ha)
21. Of Chainsaws and Babies
20. An Autopsy of Some Guy Who Is Not Really Dead But Is Only Badly Injured and Unable to Communicate
19. A Tribute Power Drills
18. 97 Live Caribou Being Shoved Into A Giant Blender
17. A Chicken Giving Birth To The Lochness Monster
16. The Soothing Sounds of The Dentist’s Office
15. Every Backstreet Boys Song Played At The Same Time
14. Reading All of Marcel Proust’s “Remembrance of Things Past” In a Fake Donald Duck Voice
13. An Old Man Chewing Tin Foil While Being Fired Out of A Canon
12. The Noise Harvey Keitel Makes When He’s Really Sad in Bad Lieutenant Looped For 12 Hours
11. The Best of Frontal Lobotomies From The Early 20th Century
10. Vin Scully’s Play-By-By Of Nuclear Bombs Destroying Los Angeles
9. The Gurgling Sound of A Man Choking To Death on A Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich
8. A Priest, A Rabbi, 22 Rottweilers and A Clown Fight To The Death Inside of A Whale’s Stomach
7. Having an Ear Infection While Monkeys Break Plates
6. Just Another Day at Bad Newz Kennels
5. That Beeping Sound a Truck Makes When It Backs Up
4. The Vienna Boys Choir Singing The Entire Gettysburg Address While Being Dissolved In Sulfuric Acid
3. The Songs Of David Allen Coe As Interpreted by a Sea Lion
2. An Uninterrupted Hour of The Sean Hannity Radio Show
1. The 7-Month Ultrasound of the Unborn Antichrist
The Tyranny of Tradition 
#1 by Universe Number Five on September 11, 2013 - 4:38 PM
FIRST!!!!
#2 by mirkinfirkin on September 11, 2013 - 5:09 PM
#8 Surely there is a Pict missing
#25 Thank you for including this one – I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
#21 Based on “Of Mice and Men.”
#12 Tinfoil is a bitch to get out of you dentures. Gunpowder stains leave rings. I wash them, I scrub them, but I just can’t get rid of those dirty rings!
#7 It was tried at first with Cornigware, with little success. Royal Doulton was found to give the best sound.
#16 I like the lollipop at the end.
#3 by David on September 11, 2013 - 5:25 PM
Ah, I needed that!
#4 by goldfish on September 11, 2013 - 6:41 PM
Lol. I had never heard of Merzbow until he did a project with Boris.
#5 by Keith Spillett on September 12, 2013 - 2:36 PM
I never heard Merzbow until a piano dropped off the 12th floor of my apartment building.
#6 by John Erickson on September 24, 2013 - 7:20 PM
Man, tough choice – gotta love LA getting glassed, but dissolving the whole Vienna Boy’s Choir? Decisions, decisions….
(By the by, get thee hence to my latest post, and help me get Aaron Heslehurst more followers. Never mind who he is – this is WAR! 😉 )
#7 by stevewynmur on March 1, 2015 - 1:09 PM
If someone can hook me up with the ‘car-door-covered-in-jizz’ colour vinyl version of the ‘….Harvey Keitel….’ album, I’d be happier than a man with a frontal lobotomy.