The Devil Wears Prada have spent the past eight years on the cutting edge of the metalcore fashion scene. From skinny jeans to studded belts to those hoodies with random expressions on them that you can find at your local Target for 12 bucks (or at Urban Outfitters for 60), the band has come to define the look of a generation. Now, screamer Mike Hranica plans on taking fashion to a new level. After 12 hours of intense cranial and facial plastic surgery, Hranica is now Tibetan.
Performers in mediocre bands often try to take on a new look in order to distract the audience from the tedious, puerile nature of their music, but this, even by the standards of rock’n’roll theatre, is a bold and audacious step. “We, at The Devil Wears Prada, have always prided ourselves in setting the trends that hundreds of thousands of lemming like teenagers proudly follow in order to conform to the rigorous standards of individuality set by cultural leaders like myself. I believe in 2 years, most teens will be bugging their parents to spend thousands of dollars to get the surgery and be part of the new Tibetan-core scene. We are doing something important here,” said Hranica in an interview with Rolling Stone.
Many industry insiders are praising Hranica for not only creating a new look, but also doing something in order to help the people of Tibet overcome their enslavement to the tyrannical Chinese government. According to music critic Arthur Banal from Spin Magazine, “many musicians have made a career out of co-opting the experiences of oppressed people simply in order to appear “hip”. I applaud Mike on his willingness to take on the look of the Tibetans not only to sell records, but also to call attention to an important cause. Music should be about more than simply allowing people to mindlessly consume images in order to forget about the reality of their own impending death; it should be about freedom, liberty, justice for all and having a great time.”
While Hranica’s “liberation-core look” has drawn nearly universal acclaim, having a nose implanted upside down on his forehead has confused and angered many parents’ groups. Michelle Worthington, President and co-founder of Parents for Obedience, Morality and Corporeal Conformity, issued a statement yesterday that condemned the nasal malfeasance of Hranica. The group, known for shutting down ear gauging clinics through the use of violence, intimidation and large campaign contributions to local politicians, are planning to use all of their resources to make sure that young people do not begin rearranging their faces in a wild display of proboscular anarchy.
During an interview with Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto, Worthington blasted the new fashion trend, “It’s one thing to use the suffering of an entire group of a people as a ploy to sell records. I mean, we’re not communists. However, taking something as sacred and critical to the survival of American youth as the nose and moving it to the forehead is simply a gateway drug for further pushing America down Obama’s slippery slope of moral and cultural decay.”
#1 by mirkinfirkin on October 3, 2013 - 10:06 AM
“However, taking something as sacred and critical to the survival of American youth as the nose and moving it to the forehead is simply a gateway drug for further pushing America down Obama’s slippery slope of moral and cultural decay.”
The Tibetan Nose Surgery Technique, or 西藏鼻子手术技术 according to the Chinese official contacted at the Tibet section of the Chinese Embassy, is fully funded under Obamacare.
#2 by goldfish on October 3, 2013 - 12:57 PM
Lulz. I thought you were kidding that there was a band called The Devil Wears Prada. How sad and awful (listening to it now).
#3 by Keith Spillett on October 3, 2013 - 1:05 PM
I had hoped Meryl Streep was in it. But, alas, she isn’t.
#4 by goldfish on October 3, 2013 - 1:32 PM
I would pay money to see a screamo band with Meryl Streep. At least a dollar.
#5 by Universe Number Five on October 3, 2013 - 1:32 PM
“Performers in mediocre bands often try to take on a new look in order to distract the audience from the tedious, puerile nature of their music, but this, even by the standards of rock’n’roll theatre, is a bold and audacious step”
same thing could be said for certain bloggers… not you, of course… lol.
#6 by Keith Spillett on October 3, 2013 - 4:20 PM
Ha! Myself, I stick to gym shorts and shirts with no sleeves. Poor man’s Jersey Shore stuff.
#7 by John Erickson on October 3, 2013 - 2:12 PM
Up side? No more nasal drip. Downside? Where do you hang your glasses? Real downside? Pigeons….. 😉
#8 by Keith Spillett on October 3, 2013 - 4:20 PM
#9 by John Nelson on October 3, 2013 - 6:58 PM
If I was in a band, I’d pay those guys to not be photographed in one of my band’s shirts.
#10 by TLC on October 4, 2013 - 9:49 AM
Why does it say:
Hranica After His Tibetanization, Extreme Rhinoplastification Surgery
under that photo? It’s not Hranica.. it’s a Chinese man who is growing his nose after an accident. reporting fail.
#11 by Keith Spillett on October 4, 2013 - 9:51 AM
Just an amazing coincidence.
#12 by Pooman on October 4, 2013 - 1:12 PM
That picture of The Devil Wears Prada is like years and years old, they haven’t adopted that faggy scene look since like 2007 I swear
#13 by Erin BigPerm Rogers on December 4, 2013 - 12:28 PM
errmigerrd TLC, you mean this is fake?