Danzig To Sue Everyone On Earth

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You’ve probably heard of him before. He’s part wolf, part lion, part ubermensch.  He is possibly the most evolved being in human history. He is Glenn Danzig and He is suing you.

In a stunning declaration of war against the entire human race, Glenn Danzig has filed a lawsuit in Manhattan Federal Court against over seven billion human beings. Danzig, who is acting as his own attorney, claimed in one of the over 40 billion documents brought into court by an entire fleet of Federal Express trucks that “He has been done wrong by everyone including Misfits bassist Jerry Only, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, actor Eli Wallach, NFL quarterback Sam Bradford, Frank Oz (the voice of Yoda) and everyone else on this godforsaken planet.”

While some of the suits have been thrown out by the Court as frivolous, over two and a half billion cases will be heard over the next five centuries. Danzig, who is immortal and has over 35,000 defense points (ten times as many as Snorlax), plans to argue each case “with the passion and burning rage of a thousand suns”.

Judge Marvin Barnes labeled many of the suits “patently absurd and possibly indicative of a severe break with reality that could signify mental illness”. For example, Danzig attempted to sue everyone in the country of Azerbaijan for erecting statues in his honor without properly compensating him for the use of his likeness.

His lawsuit against the 1.6 billion citizens of the People’s Republic of China for building thousands of environmentally hazardous coal plants without consulting Him or giving Him proper credit for the invention of coal was also considered not worthy of the Court’s time.

Here's The Picture of Danzig Buying Kitty Litter For Absolutely No Reason

Here’s The Picture of Danzig Buying Kitty Litter For Absolutely No Reason

Barnes begrudgingly agreed to hear 2.5 billion lawsuits because he “greatly admired Danzig’s first four solo albums and even a few songs by Samhain.” Danzig’s five hundred thousand dollar suit against Carol Mosley, a tax accountant in Boise, Idaho, for listening to “How The Gods Kill” without headbanging during the part where the song gets really heavy will go forward.

His 1.2 million dollar suit against Edward Callahan, a construction worker in Sacramento, California, when, in 2011, Callahan laughed hysterically at Danzig’s famed discussion of his book collection where He talks about the crimes of Jesus, clay people and the occult roots of Nazism will also see its day in court.

Danzig’s six hundred million dollar claim against The Tyranny of Tradition for implying that he gave birth to identical twin girls, a suit that would bankrupt myself and my progeny for the next three thousand years, is also proceeding. Danzig also plans to sue this website for having to waste time filing a lawsuit. Finally, Danzig will sue this site for having to file a lawsuit about filing a lawsuit; again wasting valuable time he could be using writing songs about being the nephew of the Devil and his general disdain for having been born.

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  1. #1 by goldfish on May 7, 2014 - 1:57 PM

    He’s probably suing me because I walked by his house a few weeks ago. I waved and kept walking.

    • #2 by h69423 on May 17, 2014 - 1:51 AM

      Is he gonna sue my arm for the Misfits Tattoo? Well it is attatched to my MIDDLE FINGER if he does…

    • #3 by Nathan George on May 23, 2014 - 11:13 AM

      I am equally liable for damages as I used his name twice in my life. I don’t shop at Hot Topic and this man does look like the Frankenstein Monster without the stitches or the well-versed retort of De Niro’s portrayal of the Monster in “Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein”.

      • #4 by Keith Spillett on May 23, 2014 - 11:16 AM

        De Niro is pretty much my favorite human being on earth. That being said, Peter Boyle would have been a better Frankenstein. Joe Pesci too.

    • #5 by Kurt Arronge on August 13, 2014 - 5:01 PM

      The bastard son of Satan and Segourney Weaver.

      • #6 by nick on August 22, 2015 - 2:15 PM

        That was my first thought when when I saw the pic of him hahaha. The dude looks identics l to Segourney Weaver!

  2. #7 by Glenn on May 7, 2014 - 2:29 PM

    • #8 by Theresa Pugh on May 7, 2014 - 3:39 PM

      LOL

    • #9 by John Nelson on May 7, 2014 - 4:02 PM

      I’m being sued for every count of laughing at this video. Add another.

    • #10 by Keith Spillett on May 7, 2014 - 5:02 PM

      Why do people derive such joy at seeing Danzig humiliated? Personally, I find the whole making fun of Danzig thing quite distasteful. (This was written by my lawyer)

      • #11 by Nynphadorame on May 8, 2014 - 7:55 AM

        Now Danzifg will sue you for defending him without His consent.

      • #12 by Ronald Wilson on October 22, 2015 - 11:15 AM

        I like Danzig’s music a lot. And I have nothing against the guy. Never met him, so couldn’t say one way or the other. Unless there’s a lot of footage missing, he had it coming in this one. I mean I have no idea who the guy who punched him is, but he was being pretty polite and reasonable until Glenn pushed him. The crowd acted like a bunch of animals afterwards though. I mean the guy got knocked the hell out, let his people just drag him off. No need to add insult to injury.

    • #13 by kc karrnage on May 7, 2014 - 8:22 PM

      When Danny Northside of the northside kings knocked Danzig out- he clearly knocked a fucking screw loose ~
      PS…that was the best shit ever & Danzig asked for that humiliation – shoving people around with a “do you know who I am…” attitude gets you knocked the fuck out in Az!

      • #14 by Jordy on May 7, 2014 - 11:43 PM

        Yea Danzig was being a duche and did deserve it but his music is much much better than Danny’s Northside Kings suck ass

      • #15 by Red Johnson on May 8, 2014 - 2:56 AM

        Well said.

      • #16 by Weeyum on January 27, 2016 - 11:20 PM

        Welcome to Tuba City, AZ! Home of the world famous Glenn Danzig TKO, Sioux Savage Band *wink, and mutton stew! So much for Jeet Kune Do training, eh? That town is just upright rowdy, honestly that could’ve been in civil conversation and it would’ve ended the same way just because of the location!

    • #17 by Vincent Wolf Kilgore on May 7, 2014 - 10:14 PM

      Thank you for this, Glenn. I’m personally kinda glad he has been laid out like that. I enjoy the man’s work, but he totally had that coming.

    • #18 by Donald Shaw on May 7, 2014 - 10:59 PM

      What an idiot

    • #19 by sandra leer on May 8, 2014 - 9:06 AM

      I wish that guy had hit him harder.

    • #20 by wHiZ on May 8, 2014 - 9:12 AM

      he didn’t get knocked out, that was a mere flesh wound

    • #21 by Joe Dirt on May 8, 2014 - 2:07 PM

      This dude is a looser

      • #22 by coolerthanyou on May 13, 2014 - 7:30 PM

        *^loser
        As in you don’t know how to spell loser you loser.

      • #23 by Peter Navarro on May 22, 2014 - 9:26 AM

        did you mean loser? or is this guy really looser than everyone else. I will let you look up the difference in the D I C T I O N A R Y!!!

      • #24 by W on July 8, 2014 - 7:25 AM

        He will now sue you for mispelling loser lmfao

    • #25 by dt on March 3, 2015 - 5:36 AM

  3. #26 by Marlena Krueger on May 7, 2014 - 2:59 PM

    what’s with the cat litter thing everyone knows that he has cats, duh.

    • #27 by Jenny on May 7, 2014 - 10:48 PM

      I’VE GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY! I FED MY KITTIES TODAY!

      • #28 by Rob Repairs on May 8, 2014 - 9:09 AM

        Metallica?! At least reference a Danzig tune: “Lion! Tell your kitties not to hear my words. What they mean, what they say!”

      • #29 by Bill Brook on May 8, 2014 - 9:28 AM

        @Rob Repairs, Last Caress is a Misfits song, Metallica covered it.

      • #30 by Lord Ben on October 19, 2014 - 4:26 AM

        Oh my…fucking tard…you know that the entirety of “Garage Days” by Metallica are covers right? Thus the title….dumbass

      • #31 by Michael Hutson on October 22, 2014 - 9:39 PM

        umm… wait… did some douche really just call you out for a metallica quote?? Someone needs to do homework on both bands. WTF??

    • #32 by Jeremiah Toller on May 9, 2014 - 11:56 PM

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  4. #33 by Holly on May 7, 2014 - 3:05 PM

    Supposedly he is the “son” of Jim Morrison….what a laugh. Glenn Danzig is ten kinds of crazy and ugly as hell to boot…have fun suing me for saying so!!

    • #34 by Theresa Pugh on May 7, 2014 - 3:38 PM

      LOL what an asshat!

    • #35 by xfahctor on May 8, 2014 - 11:20 AM

      lol! I’ve always said I thought he looked just like him.

  5. #36 by jlsatkins on May 7, 2014 - 3:22 PM

    Never heard of him or some band called MIsfits. They must have really sucked. Let the dumb fucker come tell me to my face he’s gonna sue me. I’ll put his stupid ignorant ass out of everyone’s misery.

    • #37 by cpt howdy on May 7, 2014 - 3:40 PM

      you really ‘get what this article is about’

    • #38 by DVS on May 7, 2014 - 3:49 PM

      ^^^ probably wearing a Misfits logo tshirt he bought at Hot Topic

    • #39 by Crystal Jones on May 7, 2014 - 6:05 PM

      You have to older than 20 to know who the Misfits are.. if you do not like 80’s metalnu r equally as dumb and Crazy as Danzig..

      • #40 by vhs on May 7, 2014 - 8:30 PM

        If you’re going to make a point online then you know the rules, check your grammar, because your opinion looks really dumb now. Especially capitilizing “Crazy”. Also I hate 80’s metal, commercially speaking.

      • #41 by william devin on May 7, 2014 - 9:49 PM

        Lo so true. Long live the 80s

      • #42 by David on May 8, 2014 - 6:31 AM

        Im in my 30 and still have no idea who the hell the Misfits are, then again I grew up listening to country. This guy is a fucking retard and should be thrown into psychological evaluation for the rest of his life.

      • #43 by ThatDumbBitchCrystal on May 8, 2014 - 3:30 PM

        Umm no you don’t have to be 20+to know the misfits. Any 10 year old can walk into spencer’s hear the music and still get merch of them. And the reason for that is 80’s metal sucked almost as much as the ignorant bitches named Crystal that listened to it.

      • #44 by Jennifer Drager on May 22, 2014 - 10:08 AM

        Crystal watch out for those grammar nazis they’re Crazy

      • #45 by Austin Haines on October 22, 2014 - 11:34 PM

        i’m 18 and i’ve known about the mistfits since i was in middle school

    • #46 by Jordy on May 7, 2014 - 11:46 PM

      His and the Misfits music is great but he’s completely lost his mind…how could you have never herd of Danzig or The Misfits please tell me you’re joking

      • #47 by unearthlyalmond on October 24, 2014 - 4:02 AM

        I have listened to Danzig, Misfits and Samhain all of my adult life and all of my teens. I am 38 now. That anyone has not heard of those bands blows my mind. Do you live on Earth? Glenn is a cool guy I have met him, he’s unusual, and arrogant. Who cares? So are millions of others. Making fun of him shows your ignorance. I have nothing bad to say about him other than- he cancelled a concert last minute in my city once, for no good reason. Otherwise I admire him and how he does not care what you say. I love his music. Also, the 80s and early 90s were music! Nowdays music is 99% crap. You must be under 21 and have no taste whatsoever.

      • #48 by Ronald Wilson on October 22, 2015 - 11:17 AM

        My mother knows who Glenn Danzig and her idea of rocking involves a chair.

        Where do you live – North Korea?

    • #49 by John Perry on May 8, 2014 - 8:31 AM

      If you have not heard of the Misfits, you are either in your late 70’s or early teens. Regardless, Danzig is an idiot.

    • #50 by Gfy on May 13, 2014 - 3:59 AM

      Lol. jlsatkins lets put this in hipster terms so you can understand it…You fail so much at life.
      Go take the internet angst elsewhere you silly, sad twat.

  6. #51 by Theresa Pugh on May 7, 2014 - 3:37 PM

    Just another sad lonely being who wants their 15 minutes of fame. LMAO, this guy is wacked.

    • #52 by Smith Comma John on May 9, 2014 - 10:19 AM

      Our creation has had about 30 years of conquering the ape men for us with great success. The ape men still pay all their money to see our most treasured Hybrid Moment.

  7. #53 by Dar Hop on May 7, 2014 - 3:40 PM

    Buying Cat Litter for no reason, eh? Uh, HE’S OBVIOUSLY SNORTING IT!

    • #54 by lizalewelyn on October 23, 2014 - 1:57 PM

      Maybe he has a cat at home.

  8. #55 by Aaron on May 7, 2014 - 4:06 PM

    Someone should just punch him in his ugly face

    • #56 by Keith Spillett on May 7, 2014 - 4:07 PM

      Actually, someone did. But, really, Danzig is not ugly. Just misunderstood.

  9. #57 by Rebekah Dolio on May 7, 2014 - 4:50 PM

    It says Jerry Only is the former bassist of The Misfits. He is actually the CURRENT bassist and front man of The Misfists. Seeing as how I sang backups for The Misfits on their latest single, a cover version of “Science Fiction Double Feature”, I know this as a fact. I hope Glenn is alright.

    • #58 by Keith Spillett on May 7, 2014 - 4:55 PM

      Good catch. Bad edit on my part. I love the last Misfits record (haven’t heard the cover though). Will seek this out immediately. Tell Jerry to keep the faith. We’re all hoping he’ll pull through.

      • #59 by Dualkarnain Siyah-Chal on May 12, 2014 - 3:39 PM

        The Jerry O. Christianity-diseased excuse-for-a-band Misfits is terrible.

    • #60 by dunsanyburzum on May 7, 2014 - 5:43 PM

      Jerry’s Misfits ain’t no Misfits. Glenn was it. Go listen to Samhain, then any Misfits album in the last couple of decades and tell me if Jerry or Glenn was responsible for the sound. Glenn’s still a jerk, even without this satirical article, but Misfits were and will always be his baby.

      • #61 by Keith Spillett on May 7, 2014 - 5:49 PM

        You gotta give that last Misfits record a chance. Took me a minute, but I swear by the thing now.

      • #62 by Charlie on June 4, 2014 - 12:44 AM

        So very true! And you’ve got to know which band exactly that you’re even talking about, Misfits was Glenn. The Misfits is Jerry. And, maybe that’s what was meant by Jerry being an ex-Misfits Bassist?? One more thing, Misfits were not a Metal Band.

    • #63 by Jess on May 8, 2014 - 7:10 AM

      Attention whore much?

  10. #64 by Danielle Renee' Rogers on May 7, 2014 - 5:10 PM

    Danzig can sue me, so he can sue me for not caring that he sued me. Then sue me when I counter sue, because he didn’t sue me for not caring that he sued me for not caring that he sued me.

    • #65 by Keith Spillett on May 7, 2014 - 5:50 PM

      Yes! Exactly! You see the logic here!

    • #66 by tw34ker on May 8, 2014 - 4:29 AM

      Why would you counter sue because he didn’t sue you for not caring that he sued you for not caring that he sued you? Also, why was he suing you in the first place?

      • #67 by Smith Comma John on May 9, 2014 - 10:22 AM

        Because, duh.

    • #68 by Kristina Cramblet on May 8, 2014 - 1:30 PM

      Yet you cared enough to read the article and comment…

  11. #69 by Lelial on May 7, 2014 - 6:01 PM

    My lawyer has advised me not to comment. Hail Hydra!

  12. #70 by BettyAnn Lesley on May 7, 2014 - 6:47 PM

    I will settle out of court for $.03

    • #71 by Ghost Doc on May 7, 2014 - 8:35 PM

      So, he gets $240 million out of this?! I shook his hand once, he is short as hell lol

    • #72 by nonyabizz on May 8, 2014 - 2:03 PM

      wonder if he’ll take a check? Oh wow, now I’ll get sued for sarcasm.

    • #73 by Smith Comma John on May 9, 2014 - 10:35 AM

      It will have to be $1.38.

    • #74 by Smith Comma John on May 9, 2014 - 10:45 AM

      It will have to be $1.38

  13. #75 by yoserna on May 7, 2014 - 8:01 PM

    REALLY? O.o it sounds like bullshit all this information.

  14. #76 by Brit on May 7, 2014 - 8:22 PM

  15. #77 by Who Cares on May 7, 2014 - 8:34 PM

    Sigh….

  16. #78 by Daniel michaud on May 7, 2014 - 8:41 PM

    Danzig is a retarded goat fetus, he has no genitals.also he likes to touch little boys while taking fistfulls of prescription medications and pouring buckets of a mixture of curdling raw cow milk, gasoline and chili (no beans) over his head. Danzif sue me you little bitch

    • #79 by timmoy on May 7, 2014 - 11:58 PM

      He’s gonna Sue you again for not spelling his name right man lol come on get your head in the game!

  17. #80 by Noneofyourbusiness on May 7, 2014 - 8:48 PM

    This dude is pathetic! He has no case and will lose. He can’t sue anyone. He’s a loser!

    • #81 by MrFurious on May 8, 2014 - 3:21 PM

      Jesus fucking Christ, he did not literally sue everyone in the world you fucking moronic fuckwits. He sued Jerry Only because Jerry Only wasn’t giving Glenn Danzig his share of royalties from merchandise with the Fiend Skull logo and such which he was due as per the contract they drew up years ago, so, yes, he does have a fucking case, fuckwad. Idiots.

      • #82 by sagefemme on May 12, 2014 - 9:15 AM

        wow….. now that is what i call higher intelligence…………….. not

    • #83 by ddeamorin79 on May 10, 2014 - 9:54 AM

      You sir are right there with him for believing this story . There should be gas chambers for the likes of you

  18. #84 by Jim Secola on May 7, 2014 - 10:02 PM

    What a LAME.

  19. #85 by william devin on May 7, 2014 - 10:14 PM

    Mother you should of put a bullet my head, you should filled full of lead mother

  20. #86 by Vintage Villains on May 7, 2014 - 10:22 PM

    Danzig ain’t got shit on Gary Busey.. just sayin

  21. #88 by Aaron Stone Siganoff on May 7, 2014 - 10:45 PM

    The hell did I just read

  22. #89 by Rik on May 7, 2014 - 11:02 PM

    He is suing me because when I was at FYE the other day, there was a Justin Beiber album mis-sorted into his section and I just didn’t care enough to remove it.

  23. #90 by Matthew Paul Hosey on May 8, 2014 - 2:18 AM

    All I can say is fuck Danzig. He is bat shit crazy, I downloaded his music, burned the memorabilia that came with his CDs and the CDs and pissed on the ashes. I also slammed him on my Facebook page and posted derogatory comments and photos of him. Let that punk bastard try to sue me. I welcome his challenge with open arms. Here Danzig, Danzig, Danzig!

  24. #91 by Badger Badgerism on May 8, 2014 - 2:23 AM

    BET I grab him by his hair slam his sorry ass down and beat the hell out of him!

  25. #92 by Ogygoo on May 8, 2014 - 2:48 AM

    II guess he is going with the slogan “No bad publicity”. He managed to get me read this. Maybe I should sue him for stomach cramp I got from laughing while reading this?

  26. #93 by jaaaase on May 8, 2014 - 3:17 AM

    Reblogged this on Insufficiently cool 4 myspace and commented:
    Oh jesus this is fantastic. Hopefully I don’t get sued for saying that.

  27. #94 by jw on May 8, 2014 - 5:52 AM

    Funny piece. Unfortunately he can’t have his day in court as all of the judges are also defendants; they must recuse themselves. Too bad.

  28. #95 by Keith Oburn on May 8, 2014 - 6:26 AM

    what is everyones’s deal with bashing Danzig. Jerry Only has sold out the Misfits. Even Doyle wants nothing to do with this version of the band. My 14 year old daughter says kids in her school wear misfits stuff from hot topic and when she asks them about it, they think its a brand of clothing. Danzig created the band, wrote every classic song, he deserves the pay off. Any one of you would do the same.

    • #96 by sandra leer on May 8, 2014 - 8:58 AM

      He is rude at least the last singer of misfits actually is sweet and down to earth. This guy can’t be down to earth if he’s “not of this world”… He’s a god……dio was a hell of a LOT better metallica even is more interest to me than this dude. Sueing because a girl didn’t head bang, damn stupid.

    • #97 by Zippy Zero on May 8, 2014 - 10:19 AM

      Yeah, I don’t get it either. Most of the people slamming him don’t even appear to get the “article”, and hardly know who he is. A creative genius, great, musician, accomplished classic composer and a good draftsman is what he really is. They would be conceited too.

      • #98 by Pauline Newman on May 13, 2014 - 3:39 AM

        He is no genius,nor any sort of musician or draftsman or composer,if he was any good at any of these things then more people including me would of heard of him, if heavy metal head bancing doof doof music is NOT your style why would you of heard of him? Just someone who is probably a drug addict,who has no idea about how things work, he will never win this court case ,even though it is a joke, it’s going to be heard over 500 years,if ge claims to be immortal, then well all be long gone ,so he loses anyway, one disturbed individual

  29. #99 by sandra leer on May 8, 2014 - 8:54 AM

    Wow, someone really needs to cut off some of his misshaped ego and bring him down to earth. He’s not immortal nor can he do anything special or he would had foreseen those people about to screw him over. I think it’s insane but what ev…..

  30. #100 by Razsa'rin Dei'shurra on May 8, 2014 - 8:56 AM

    Well I actually can’t really blame the guy… I’m not human myself…. (Not entirely)…. ESPECIALLY not in the aether… From one Multi-kin to another…. I can tell he is experiencing some major losses…….. Don’t ask how i might know this…. I just do….. Do not ask if I’m crazy…. Because honestly… I don’t know anymore…. I don’t even think about anything… I just do stuff… I’m always empty minded…. But not without due cause….

  31. #101 by Crystal on May 8, 2014 - 8:57 AM

    Pretty sure he’s suing me for reading and laughing at issues of “Henry and Glenn Forever”

  32. #102 by username on May 8, 2014 - 8:58 AM

    i really dont see why someone made this, glenn does have a very legitimate case against jerry. an article comes out with glenn sueing jerry, so what, everyone has to make fun of it, like no musician hass ever sued another musician before, its like glenn does one little thing and its such a big deal, where as other musos hav done such worse shit and people just shrug it off, he does his thing, doesnt care how it makes him look, and speaks his mind whole heartedly, its something to look up to rather than bash and call him an asshole

  33. #103 by Crystal on May 8, 2014 - 8:58 AM

    Oooh also for the artwork I own of Jem from the Holograms stomping on his head.

  34. #104 by sandra leer on May 8, 2014 - 9:13 AM

    Towards “username”…. Are you ignorant? He’s not suing one musician he’s suing millions!!! You obviously didn’t read the full story or just don’t understand it…

  35. #105 by Scooter Rodriguez on May 8, 2014 - 9:56 AM

    Jerry, a born again Christian, did not write a single one of the original Misfits songs. After the Misfits broke up in 1983, Jerry became a real Jesus freak and disavowed everything about the Misfits. He said the Misfits were evil and said he never wrote any of their songs so that he could absolve himself of any blame for the evil he perceived.

    Jerry then started a new Christian metal band called Kryst the Conqueror. He said he wanted to use his new band to counter Danzig’s evil message. He sunk tons of money into his Kryst band but it was a total failure. Listen to this garbage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeVDD0BfPKI

    Later, in the 90s when there was a punk revival, Jerry saw that people were getting into the Misfits again, and figured that he could turn the Misfits’ new popularity into profit for himself. So he completely went back on everything he previously said about the Misfits being evil, and there were years of legal wranglings between Jerry and Danzig before they reached an agreement that Jerry could perform as the Misfits and release new Misfits merchandise if he gave Danzig a cut.

    Jerry was able to stake a claim in the original Misfits because he paid for most of the Misfits’ expenses in the early days. Jerry had money to burn because he and his brother were dumb rich kids who worked for their father in his machine shop. Meanwhile, Danzig lived with his mom until he was almost 30 and never had a job. So Danzig basically just used Jerry for his money to pay for the Misfits’ travel expenses, studio time, instruments, etc. I won’t dispute that Danzig is an asshole, but the fact is that Jerry’s only contribution to the original Misfits was his money.

    Danzig WAS the Misfits. He wrote every single song, and created all the Misfits imagery. Everyone else, including Jerry, was merely a backing musician for his vision.

    Yes, Danzig is an asshole, and he’s upfront about the fact that he’s an asshole. He doesn’t try to hide that he’s an asshole. Jerry, meanwhile, says whatever makes him look good in any given situation, even if it totally contradicts something he said earlier. Jerry is the weasel, not Danzig.

    Later, after Jerry was allowed to reform the Misfits, he started claiming that he actually wrote a lot of the original Misfits’ songs. This is total bullshit. Danzig is the sole copyright-holder for every single original Misfits song. But if you need more evidence, listen to that Kryst garbage again. And I’ll admit that a lot of the Graves-era Misfits songs are catchy, but the good songs are the ones that the other new-era Misfits band members wrote. Jerry didn’t write many of the new Misfits’ songs, and the ones he did write are the fucking terrible ones, like “Mars Attacks!” Doesn’t “Mars Attacks!” sound an awful lot like a Kryst the Conqueror song? All the songs Jerry writes sound the same and they all sound like garbage. That’s evidence enough that Jerry had no songwriting contributions whatsoever in the original Misfits.

    Jerry was voted “Most Popular” in his graduating high school class. Think back to who was voted “Most Popular” in your graduating class. Wasn’t he/she a totally fake person who just tried to be nice to everyone in case they needed a favor from them later?

    Jerry is a politician — a backstabbing fraud who cares only about money. He will say and do whatever he needs to do to get more money, even if that includes putting the Crimson Ghost on fucking Ugg boots. He doesn’t care. He has no respect for the Misfits’ legacy because it’s nothing but a profit vehicle for him. It’s not his creation so he doesn’t mind whoring it out to anyone who waves a few bucks in his fat face.

    That is why when you meet Jerry “he is one of the nicest people.” Because he’s a fake. A phoney. A politician.

    Danzig is real and doesn’t care if you like him or not.

    I was THE biggest Misfits fan back in the day. I know everything about the Misfits. Please let me know if my arguments haven’t swayed you to believe me. I can provide tons and tons more evidence that proves that Jerry is a fucking liar and a cheat.

    • #106 by Blight on May 8, 2014 - 10:19 AM

      I meant to up vote you. The finger slid, sorry.

      • #107 by Keith Spillett on May 8, 2014 - 10:25 AM

        I appreciate the response and am glad to have read it. Thanks for spending the time to make a strong case for your belief.

    • #108 by Steve Rod on May 8, 2014 - 11:04 AM

      very cool info, thanks.

    • #109 by Zippy Zero on May 8, 2014 - 7:43 PM

      Amen

    • #110 by SarahJ on May 9, 2014 - 8:42 AM

      Thank you Scooter!!!

    • #111 by Sarah Fain on May 11, 2015 - 12:27 AM

      Fucking fantastic.I would really love to listen to Rodriguez’s lectures forever.I am an admirer of Glen’s etherial apparition,and an amateur student

  36. #112 by keepingthedreamalive on May 8, 2014 - 10:53 AM

    To Danzig:
    Dude, just let it go…

    • #113 by Steve Rod on May 8, 2014 - 11:06 AM

      I think danzig could do a really cool cover to “let it go” form frozen

  37. #114 by Steve Rod on May 8, 2014 - 11:08 AM

    what’s the real deal here, is he suing anyone? sounds like a april fools joke in May to me.

  38. #115 by xfahctor on May 8, 2014 - 11:21 AM

    Um…….you guys all realize that this is satire……right?

  39. #116 by trackerrrr on May 8, 2014 - 11:30 AM

    Am I the only one that thinks he looks like a really ugly man version of Sigourney Weaver?

    • #117 by hbar on May 8, 2014 - 1:30 PM

      YES YES YES!!!! (was served my papers whilst typing this)

  40. #118 by tara on May 8, 2014 - 11:48 AM

    This is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard of. This is what’s wrong with America.

  41. #119 by Harry Krishna on May 8, 2014 - 12:30 PM

    Mr. Danzig, I believe all you need to do is clean the sand out of your vagina and take an industrial strength Midol…

  42. #120 by kenny powers on May 8, 2014 - 12:32 PM

    How come he is only suing for mere paper dollars? Why not sue for souls? Like a greedy ginger.

  43. #121 by inwardfacingi on May 8, 2014 - 12:36 PM

    He’s probably suing me because of my unauthorized Ben & Jerry’s flavor, “Lucifudge”.

  44. #122 by Scooter Rodriguez on May 8, 2014 - 12:44 PM

    Yes, Danzig is just so sue-crazy because he’s suing Jerry Only for trying to screw him out of money that Jerry is legally obligated to pay him.

    What hilarious satire.

  45. #123 by B on May 8, 2014 - 1:10 PM

    *ugly face* typo.

    • #124 by Eddie on May 8, 2014 - 10:43 PM

      It’s probably false article

      • #125 by bobcollum on May 9, 2014 - 9:47 AM

        You’re like, a genius or something.

      • #126 by Mark on May 9, 2014 - 9:04 PM

        “Probably”? Duh, you think so brainiac?

      • #127 by Jeremiah Toller on May 9, 2014 - 11:54 PM

        Preposterous. PREPOSTEROUS!

      • #128 by jaime on May 10, 2014 - 1:54 PM

        this dude is whack!
        can we say mental hospital????

  46. #129 by pottermane on May 8, 2014 - 1:21 PM

    Court will be held in outer space cause Danzig is…
    Not of this world

    Oh yeah and

    He doesn’t want your money in this law suit he just wants your SKUUUUUUUULL

  47. #130 by NeoIrenaeus on May 8, 2014 - 1:26 PM

    Immortal? Bro, you need to lose some weight or you ain’t making it to 60.

  48. #131 by Jon R. on May 8, 2014 - 1:59 PM

    Who… What? 😕

  49. #132 by EvaDestruction on May 8, 2014 - 1:59 PM

    Do you all really not get what he is doing, or trying to prove? It’s clear as day …open your eyes….he is a very intelligent man.

  50. #133 by Edward Na on May 8, 2014 - 2:08 PM

    I got something to say….I’m going to sue you today

  51. #134 by Debby on May 8, 2014 - 2:09 PM

    Is he eating the cat litter and letting the cats shat in his food? That would explain a lot.

  52. #135 by guppytank on May 8, 2014 - 2:17 PM

    Interesting….

  53. #136 by Kirsten Griffiths on May 8, 2014 - 4:25 PM

    i’ll await my summons in the post then ……….

    • #137 by shadow on May 9, 2014 - 2:31 AM

      what a complete fucking dickhead a true wanker fucking try to sue me
      dose anyone want to hurt him i mean slash his neck the fuck open

      • #138 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:23 AM

        relax numbnutts its just a joke

      • #139 by FlippyD on May 9, 2014 - 12:52 PM

        Now schmucks like me, would sue you, and join him to sue you, and schmucks thinking like you. And then you’d have a bunch of schmucks like you, to sue schmucks like me. It’s a mass genocide (over court)

      • #140 by guildo fawksu on May 9, 2014 - 5:15 PM

        only slightly? Who is he? and why does he think he’s king?? iv actually never ever heard of this thing before.sadly enough, i dont think he showers either.

      • #141 by mercenarygrip on May 9, 2014 - 5:55 PM

        Wow, your comment proves that not all of his lawsuits are frivolous, the ones naming you as the Defendant, obviously need to proceed. Here’s a little helpful instruction for you: 1. Place both hands securely on your head, one on each side. 2. Quickly, and with adequate force, PULL your head in a downward direction, thereby hopefully dislodging your head from your ass. 3. If this doesn’t work, repeat steps 1&2 until successful.

      • #142 by YourOwn Disposeable Michael on May 9, 2014 - 6:09 PM

        gullible

      • #143 by Bull Tip on May 9, 2014 - 6:54 PM

        Anyone who uses the term “wanker” is, truly, the real wanker.

  54. #144 by kevin on May 8, 2014 - 4:33 PM

    What an idiot, he looks like he could be meatloafs brother. Oh shit, Im probably GH gonna get sued now.

    • #145 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:24 AM

      Dont worry he’s not gonna sue you because everyone knows douchebags dont have anything of value to sue for

  55. #146 by Jk on May 8, 2014 - 5:05 PM

    He needs $$$ to fix the bald spot on his head!!

  56. #147 by oogeyboogey on May 8, 2014 - 5:23 PM

    no one should have a damn case. the Crimson Ghost is a stolen image, anyway.

  57. #148 by Adis Minaei on May 8, 2014 - 5:46 PM

    wait a second… Azerbaijan erected a statue of him? is this real? AND WHY???? they must be just as crazy..

    • #149 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:24 AM

      it’s a joke dude

      • #150 by Jeremiah Toller on May 10, 2014 - 12:34 AM

        AH-HA! The joke is on YOU! Here is the statue of Danzig that the Azerbaijan people erected! They worship him there-

  58. #151 by WTF on May 8, 2014 - 5:54 PM

    Danzig??? Horrible at best music. Completely irrelevant in his heyday and even more so now.

    • #152 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:26 AM

      Actually know his shit was pretty good and spanned decades and some songs even made it through to the present time “Mother” being one of them. But you sound to bitter to even realize this is just a joke. Lemme guess your probably a Mettallica fan making you the biggest douchebag of all lol

      • #153 by beepers on May 9, 2014 - 10:07 AM

        you know monkie bader…you should stop being a troll.

      • #154 by Smith Comma John on May 9, 2014 - 10:50 AM

        Of course the ape man is. Metallica fans are always trying to hinder our goals of world domination through musicians. . . who actually are good. Us in the Reptilian race will just have to try harder.

      • #155 by weezel666 on May 9, 2014 - 11:33 AM

        Monkie Bader, I think I love you…

      • #156 by Val on May 9, 2014 - 1:07 PM

        Actually if you guys knew fuck all, you would know that one of Metallica’s first albums Garage Days contains covers of the Misfits, of which Danzig so gloriously sang for long ago!

      • #157 by whatever on May 9, 2014 - 3:24 PM

        uh, Im going to bet that every member of Metallica (live or dead) loves Danzig and the Misfits, considers the Misfits to be inspiration for Metallica even existing, and will admit without hesitation that they covered the Misfits’ “Last Caress” on one of their first albums; Garage Days Revisited

  59. #158 by Ambrose on May 8, 2014 - 6:40 PM

    2.5 billion cases to actually be heard? Seriously…

  60. #160 by Dave Cain on May 8, 2014 - 6:55 PM

    This is not the right story.
    http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/may/07/glenn-danzig-jerry-only-misfits-skull-logo-ownership is one step closer to being accurate.

    • #161 by Keith Spillett on May 8, 2014 - 6:56 PM

      That Guardian story is obviously satire.

    • #162 by Barbara on May 9, 2014 - 1:23 AM

      this story is a far far cry from the B.S. posted above but I guess people will believe anything

  61. #163 by Smith Comma John on May 8, 2014 - 6:57 PM

    I believe this is what the humans refer to as a humorous joke. I suppose we will have to instruct the Greys to remove humor from the ones they pick up and probe before the rest of ours come through the dimensional portal, since you can’t figure it out.

    Signed,
    Smith Comma John

    • #164 by Keith Spillett on May 8, 2014 - 7:02 PM

      You understand completely. Heavy Metal Must Be Destroyed.

      • #165 by Smith Comma John on May 8, 2014 - 7:07 PM

        Yes! lest the ape men will fill with electric liberty and be unmanageable.

        Your next Senate Candidate,
        Smith Comma John

      • #166 by Keith Spillett on May 8, 2014 - 7:14 PM

        I’ll move to Chicago and vote for you nineteen times.

      • #167 by Alex Hicks on May 8, 2014 - 10:42 PM

        When are you releasing the new Lindisfarne single?

      • #168 by Rangman on May 9, 2014 - 12:04 PM

        destroyed? FTL FUKTARD! that means id have to burn all my metalocolypse discs if we destroyed it all— aint nobody got time fo dat

  62. #169 by Eric Zwilling on May 8, 2014 - 6:58 PM

    Make decent music and you wouldn’t waste so many people’s time

  63. #170 by Rachie Tartz on May 8, 2014 - 7:50 PM

    Wonder if he’s suing the people who did the Shakira/Danzig video.

  64. #171 by McStylis on May 8, 2014 - 7:56 PM

    What’s a Danzig…thought it was street people like to shoot guns an be all cool like… Is he suing himself for having to take the time to sue us?

    • #172 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:30 AM

      yes he is he filed suits against himself and his parents for giving birth to him and i believe a pet hampster as well for biting him when he was little but he’s sueing the hampster comunity as a whole

  65. #173 by PJs on May 8, 2014 - 8:07 PM

    Should I laugh more at the article or the comments? I’m torn, so job well done!

  66. #174 by Khaosf on May 8, 2014 - 9:05 PM

    Someone get that man more elf blood!
    The withdrawal s are making him cranky…

    • #175 by Atlantis on May 8, 2014 - 10:17 PM

      I just watched that episode yesterday. laughed my butt off

  67. #176 by brian on May 8, 2014 - 9:33 PM

    He looks like a gay version of mayhem explosion.

  68. #178 by BuddMan (@Stocks420) on May 8, 2014 - 9:58 PM

    I hope he wins them all.

  69. #179 by BuddMan (@Stocks420) on May 8, 2014 - 10:01 PM

    I am going to sue Danzig because I want to and he never consulted me before filing any of the lawsuits. I think $4,878,624.09 sounds about right.

    • #180 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:31 AM

      And I in turn will sue you for sueing him for one dollar above your bid lol

  70. #181 by Codenomics on May 8, 2014 - 10:48 PM

    You know. I honestly don’t if any one could that ignorant. Danzig, are you that ignorant?

    Also, my keyboard sort corrects “Danzig” to rancid… Awesome association.

  71. #183 by Becky House on May 8, 2014 - 10:57 PM

    Can’t take something I don’t have…. so bring on the lawsuit. Don’t know what for… maybe existing?

    Now to throw myself to the wolves…. Who in the heck is this absolute crazy person? I’ve heard of the ‘crazy gene’ being spread across entire families but I have to speculate that perhaps it didn’t spread through his family and he received the condensed version for everyone.

    **Please note that all the above statement as personal opinions and observations, of which I can’t be sued for**

    • #184 by Smith Comma John on May 9, 2014 - 10:13 AM

      Well, he’s obvious immortal, and I guess the judge is too. He is part wolf, part lion, and sounds like evil Elvis. He is our key to gaining control of the ape men

      Signed,
      Smith Comma John

    • #185 by Ryan Collins on May 9, 2014 - 11:48 AM

      Kill it before it lays eggs

  72. #186 by Wendy on May 8, 2014 - 11:34 PM

    he looks like a really ugly male Sigourney Weaver

    • #187 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:33 AM

      Sigourney Weaver is a male now where have you been lol

  73. #188 by Fuck you Danzig on May 8, 2014 - 11:42 PM

    What a fucking moron I wish he would sue me just so I could lay a fat counter suit on his ass and take him for all he is worth as a shitty worthless musician as he claims

    • #189 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:34 AM

      Calm down sparky its just a joke dont get your panties in a bunch over it lol……..you werent hugged enough as a child were you?

      • #190 by Joe on May 9, 2014 - 10:42 AM

        The only one with their “panties in a bunch” is you lmao. The fact that you really felt the need to go through and comment on everything that was said in this thread is actually really sad. Go jack off to your obsession to Danzig somewhere else lol

    • #191 by Ryan Collins on May 9, 2014 - 11:03 AM

      How can you take him for what he is worth if you claim he is worthless? Also…this is a joke.its like Saturday night live of journalism ..do you understand now’

  74. #192 by Ardnaxela on May 9, 2014 - 1:08 AM

    This is the funniest thing I have ever read!!! Glenn Danzig, go ahead and sue me. You’re an idiot. and people are laughing at you.

    • #193 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:35 AM

      Only people being laughed at is those of you that dont know a joke when you read one….and not even an elaborate one either. Someone with down syndrome would even have known it wasnt real lol

    • #194 by Ryan Collins on May 9, 2014 - 11:05 AM

      Lol you’re so sure of yourself.why are the biggest morons so opinionated

  75. #195 by Spill on May 9, 2014 - 1:33 AM

    That first pic he looks kinda like the Emperor from Star Wars… Only less cool

  76. #196 by AWESOMECHUNG on May 9, 2014 - 3:01 AM

    I am a huge Misfits (all 3 versions, except project 1950’s) Samhain & Danzig fan, & I find this hilarious.
    I don’t understand peoples perception of Danzig being an a-hole tho? I have read & seen a lot of interviews & he seems to be doing his thing, never rude of obnoxious in my view, I get everyone will have their own views tho.
    As far as I am aware Danzig was responsible for the screen prints of the Fiend & sold the image to be put on skate boards? as he put in time & effort to get the logo seen & known he should get royalties? again purely my view.
    If Jerry changed the name but kept playing the same style (Devils Rain is a good album) I think he would have more credibility.
    Either way – all the music still rocks!

    • #197 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:39 AM

      I agree he has also been CEoof his own line of comics and numerous other publications. Unfortunately some of these people cant see a joke when its right in front of them and instantly start talking shit about a man they dont know an some never even heard of. I must admit for a man that back in the day looked like a scarey motherfucker built like he could choke satan himself out he’s got a sense of humor I never woulda seen coming

  77. #198 by Ian on May 9, 2014 - 3:35 AM

    Happy Mothers Day Mr. Danzig.

  78. #199 by kathi R on May 9, 2014 - 4:14 AM

    Right on man sue Metallica for Green Hell and Mommie, i hate them so bad! 🙂

  79. #200 by disspwn on May 9, 2014 - 5:04 AM

    But wait…is he suing his “Mother?”

    • #201 by Monkie Bader on May 9, 2014 - 7:40 AM

      He’s sueing his mother for not paying royalties while using the title of one of his better known songs as her own personal nickname lol

  80. #202 by Jessica Paradis on May 9, 2014 - 5:22 AM

    Really sad he needs some help as he clearly has some mental issues.

  81. #204 by Luis Hartenstein on May 9, 2014 - 8:34 AM

    Does “everyone” include his MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

  82. #205 by switchbox on May 9, 2014 - 8:45 AM

    I just want Monkie Bader to comment on my post…. that is all

  83. #206 by gd on May 9, 2014 - 8:50 AM

    i think monkie bader is danzig… he is all about letting everyone know this is just a joke.

    • #207 by Pauline Newman on May 10, 2014 - 2:48 AM

      I agree, I think he is too, everyone who has been negative about dumbzig, has been given a thumbs down.

  84. #208 by Just In Beaver on May 9, 2014 - 8:53 AM

    I’m friggin suing Monkie Bader for being the comment police!!!! Bloody Facist! $$$$$$$$$$$

  85. #209 by Shellyv on May 9, 2014 - 10:19 AM

    I’m going to sue Danzig for being Danzig

  86. #210 by Jeremy on May 9, 2014 - 10:28 AM

    He needs to sue Norman bates for saying “mother”!!!!!!! Rock on you crazy sum bitch

  87. #211 by rob on May 9, 2014 - 11:50 AM

    what would HENRY ROLLINS DO?

  88. #212 by Andrew Michael Graeber on May 9, 2014 - 12:02 PM

    Danzig would never win any case against me. I could assure that.

  89. #214 by Alyssa on May 9, 2014 - 12:59 PM

    I miss when music was good. 80s Metallica was good. Misfits was once good and so was Danzig. Time passes, people age. Old happens. Sadly the result of being old is that sometimes you do old people shit. This sounds like old people shit. Funny none the less.

  90. #215 by Bryon Jones on May 9, 2014 - 1:10 PM

    Now that shit was funny.

  91. #216 by Marshal on May 9, 2014 - 1:45 PM

    He’s a lunatic, and I still love his music stop with the hait he’s not suing you lol lol

  92. #217 by Melissa Berard on May 9, 2014 - 1:50 PM

    Um…yeah man, your crack pipe is in your pocket! He even looks insane???

  93. #218 by Pauline Newman on May 9, 2014 - 1:58 PM

    This guy is quite insane, LOL! even tho it’s a joke, can you imagine the Judge convicting himself, not to mention the jury…LOL,, but at least he got what he wanted & that’s PUBLICITY, just wait for the books, then the movie, in 3D of course, then the TV series & lastly the animated series, & all the merchandising garbage that comes with it, so I guess he’s not as dumb as he looks! Oh wait is that slander? Better give Lionel Hutz a call!

  94. #219 by roxas89 on May 9, 2014 - 2:23 PM

    Jokes on him I don’t have any money…

    • #220 by Jeremiah Toller on May 10, 2014 - 12:41 AM

      Joke’s on YOU!!!! He will actually give you money, then sue you for it!

  95. #221 by Kira on May 9, 2014 - 3:11 PM

    Jokes on him! I have no $!

  96. #222 by Beth Hollis on May 9, 2014 - 3:50 PM

    You tell that danzig, I am suing him for being born, for breathing the same air I do without my permission , for not eating same foods I do and oh yeah tell danzig I’m suing him because when he thinks to use his brain and he thinks stupidly , that he’s being sued for not being as smart as me! You can fix ignorance , but you can’t fix stupidity ! Dumb Ass

  97. #224 by andy on May 9, 2014 - 4:00 PM

    Wow what a wack job. How bout he sues the earth for evolving life to begin with. Can’t believe any court would hear this out

  98. #227 by nofunleague on May 9, 2014 - 4:07 PM

    He can’t sue me. I was off that day

  99. #229 by Shoes and Sun on May 9, 2014 - 4:54 PM

    Reblogged this on Shoes and Sun and commented:
    Cheers to you, Tyranny of Tradition. Raise hell and tell Danzig to suck it easy!

  100. #230 by mercenarygrip on May 9, 2014 - 6:00 PM

    The number of people who posted comments, that actually believe that this is real, is frightening. I know that the world has a lot of ignorant people, but I’m amazed that you were able to assemble all of them in one place, and get them all to comment. Truly amazing.

    • #231 by Jeremiah Toller on May 10, 2014 - 12:45 AM

      It IS real. Danzig sued me for wearing shoes that he had never seen before.

  101. #232 by John Allen Myers on May 9, 2014 - 6:11 PM

    Uhmmmmmm…………….I don’t even know who he is, furthermore could care less who he is. Or will I be sued because I don’t know who he is and could care less who he is?

    • #233 by Pauline Newman on May 10, 2014 - 2:51 AM

      I’m with you, what’s more I don’t think I want to know him..I double dare him to sue me?

      • #234 by Tyler on May 10, 2014 - 2:54 AM

        Please just don’t speak ever again

  102. #235 by Michael fillers on May 9, 2014 - 6:48 PM

    Man, dang it I can afford a law suit … Hey will he settle for a old pair of boots and a pound of bologna .

  103. #236 by Kandi on May 9, 2014 - 6:48 PM

    What. A. Freak.

    • #237 by TJ on May 10, 2014 - 9:28 AM

      Oh no, you’re going to get sued for saying that.

      • #238 by Sam Piscopo on May 10, 2014 - 10:49 AM

        Were getting sued no matter what!

    • #239 by sandra on May 10, 2014 - 11:27 PM

      way more then just a freak.

  104. #240 by Brian on May 9, 2014 - 7:50 PM

    To the guy who doesn’t know who Danzig is … Ur a moron furthermore this caption says he bought kitty litter for no reason ? Glenn Danzig does have a life and kids I’m sure they probably have a family pet a.k.a a cat !

    • #241 by B.Wood on May 9, 2014 - 11:20 PM

      Danzig is a tool. Any dude who has a cat for a pet is obviously a pushover. Just look at him….better yet listen to his feeble attempts to sing.

      • #242 by nathan on May 10, 2014 - 7:47 AM

        He owns a pet other then a dog.. yup.. must be a pushover. What a smart neanderthal you are. Its evolve time.

      • #243 by Bryan on May 11, 2014 - 4:38 AM

        Possession of an object and says that you are a pushover how?

    • #244 by Jeremiah Toller on May 9, 2014 - 11:51 PM

      IMPOSSIBLE!

    • #245 by Some Moron on May 10, 2014 - 10:13 AM

      I have no fucking clue who this ignoramus is.. am I a Moron?.. or are You an ignorant prat. Hmm.. Probably the latter.

    • #246 by Carl Siddall on May 11, 2014 - 10:46 AM

      The goof is a total abuse of breath-able air,,,,,,so therefore, i’m goin 2 sue him//

    • #247 by Phred on May 11, 2014 - 12:38 PM

      I’m sure he meant that he was presenting the picture for no reason.

    • #248 by J on May 11, 2014 - 5:05 PM

      Um, the “for no reason” was just the posting of the pic.

      • #249 by J on May 11, 2014 - 5:07 PM

        And no, he does not have a family…A family of cats maybe, but no family. I’d say hence why he is always on edge, but so much for cats being relaxing.

  105. #250 by bev on May 9, 2014 - 8:50 PM

    The overwhelming people who would believe this bullshit story, straight idiots. Shows how asinine you all are, rather shameless

  106. #253 by Matt on May 9, 2014 - 9:07 PM

    It’s so wonderful hard working ‘sane’ tax payers money is going towards the reviews and judgements of this mans insanely stupid law suits. Thankyou mr insane and incredibly stupid Danzig, maybe we should sue you for your stupidity and wasting people’s time.

    • #254 by gayle on May 10, 2014 - 10:37 AM

      you got that right matt

    • #255 by Prick Nailer on May 10, 2014 - 11:17 AM

      You can’t sue Danzig! He is above the laws of man!

    • #256 by Angie on May 11, 2014 - 5:21 AM

      Who’s stupid now?! IT’S A SPOOF ARTICLE!!! Apparently, reading comprehension is not your strong point LMMFAO

  107. #257 by jay on May 9, 2014 - 9:08 PM

    This is the greatest shit of my life. Ever.

    • #258 by Jeremiah Toller on May 9, 2014 - 11:53 PM

      It’s the greatest story of anyone’s life who has ever lived anywhere. EVER.

  108. #259 by Raymond on May 9, 2014 - 9:25 PM

    I will settle out of court for a box or Kraft dinner, a block of Blue Cheese and some butter milk to wash it down!!

  109. #260 by Brandon on May 9, 2014 - 9:57 PM

    An insignificant flea of a human desperately searching for attention yet clueless of his own anonymity. If he can’t get it with talent than he throws a tamper tantrum. Mental dysfunction rears it’s ugly head yet again.

    • #261 by Mike138 on May 10, 2014 - 2:03 AM

      you must be a flea of a human yourself if you think all this is true

  110. #262 by nikitashalavin on May 9, 2014 - 11:51 PM

    What’s wrong with you people? A man is exercising his constitutional rights! Where would you idiots be without constitution? A man has a right to buy kitty litter just because he feels like it. Fuck the Chinese! God bless America!

    • #263 by Jim on May 10, 2014 - 9:30 AM

      Yes.. god bless America & all of it’s arrogance. All hail the mighty constitution.. a document even more out of it’s time than the bible. I find it so hilariously funny when all some people have to fall back on is their mighty constitution. I say fuck America & God bless everywhere else on this planet. Any Americans feeling upset about this, would you like to go beat up an Arib now? Perhaps shoot innocent people simply because they happened to be in the way? Well I seem to be protected by that very constitution & can say what ever I want to say.. does it look like the perfect document now?

      • #264 by Rusty Stroud on May 10, 2014 - 11:35 AM

        Why would you show disrespect for an entire country and it’s supreme law simply because your mother is a stupid whore, who took too big of a step and let you spill out on the hot , hard sidewalk and split our empty skull when she was pregnant with your worthless ass? It’s not our fault! Geez!!

      • #265 by Ray on May 10, 2014 - 3:18 PM

        No, but you do look like an asshole !!

      • #266 by brandon on May 10, 2014 - 8:53 PM

        ur damn right its a perfect document. u have a right to say what u want to say and i have a right to call u a bitch ass idiot for it. i also have a right to say fuck u and have a horrible day too lol. if ur going to use the powers of the constitution u are entitled too then dont smear on it in the first place u prick.

      • #267 by Randy on May 10, 2014 - 9:26 PM

        Wow…no but you seem like the perfect dumbass. If you had the PRIVILAGE to be born an American…MOVE! Sounds like you are renouncing your citizenship anyway…aaaand I am pretty sure our test scores will go up. Pretty difficult but your post may be the dumbest thing I have read all week. I am pretty sure that about 316 MILLION Americans didn’t beat up anyone today and amazingly didn’t shoot anyone either! I mean I can personally account for about 762 people today…you’ll have to reach out to some others just to make sure.

        Less Republican. Less Democrat. More CONSTITUTION.

  111. #268 by Jeremiah Toller on May 9, 2014 - 11:59 PM

    I wonder if he will sue his own NECK for making him look bad in a photo.

  112. #269 by Amy on May 10, 2014 - 12:08 AM

    This idiot is just another one of those losers that are manipulating and abusing the system because they feel society owes them something. Get a job, Loser!!!

  113. #270 by Pawhite on May 10, 2014 - 12:45 AM

    Years back when Glenn was asked what he thought of the internet, he said he thought there were positive things about its uses but also has its moments where an asshole ruins it for everyone else. I believe this article is his case and point and its author, the total fucking asshole.

  114. #271 by Stephanie Barber on May 10, 2014 - 1:30 AM

    Journalism at its finest: excellent, incisive, unbiased, relevant, and utterly moving. This should be nominated for a Phewlitzer Prize. Carry on.

    • #272 by Keith Spillett on May 10, 2014 - 2:15 AM

      Exactly! One day, I hope to be known as the William Randolph Hearst of Jurnalizmcore!

      • #273 by Unfettered by Reality on May 10, 2014 - 7:51 PM

        I thought you were already the Joseph Pulitzer of mini-golf?! Isn’t that sufficient?!

  115. #274 by TushantJuneja on May 10, 2014 - 3:29 AM

    Hahaha, This guy is a Badass!

    On a side note, i would like to tell you about DoubleThink, It is an up and coming blog that is extremely satisfying for every kind of a person, be it the thinker, the optimist, the pessimist, the poet, the musician, the couch-potato, the bookworm or the photographer.We are a bunch of people with different backgrounds, contradictory opinions but one voice. And this blog is our voice.”

    Come hear us at :
    http://doublethinkhub.wordpress.com/

  116. #275 by Jeff Godek on May 10, 2014 - 5:27 AM

    Do people on this post really think this is a true story? Are you really that stupid?

    • #276 by Perfectly Flawed on May 10, 2014 - 5:30 PM

      Another’s stupidity never surprises anymore, however, it does entertain.

  117. #277 by Bret on May 10, 2014 - 7:11 AM

    One of the best concert moments of my life was at Jannus Landing in St.Petersburg Florida. The Misfits were opening for Gwar. (Michael Graves Misfits, not this bullshit)

    As my friends and I are standing at the stage entrance, my friend asks Jerry “Hey Jerry, seen Glenn Lately?” The look was priceless.

    In short, Glenn is a sissy with a glass jaw. Everyone has seen him go down like a pile of bricks. I would entertain this article as fact since after all his career ended not long after I started talking. I couldn’t read a chapter book and his career was already in the toilet (1988).

    Just let him go quietly into obscurity. He has one song that went anywhere in his solo career. He isn’t even an honorable mention on a VH1 one hit wonders.
    P.S. Jerry Only. Stop cracking singing. Your voice makes CDs break and project 1950’s was a terrible Album. Way to follow up Michael Graves dumb ass.

    • #278 by Pawhite on May 10, 2014 - 9:25 AM

      He’s not mentioned on VH1’s (which you’re a tool for watching) one hit wonder because he wasn’t a one hit wonder, duh! But you are obviously too young to be aware of that so i’ll give your naivete the benefit of the doubt there. Most of his interviewers refer to him as ” the man, the myth, the legend” because he has been a pioneer in music through his accomplishments in the Misfits and Danzig. Not to mention the fact that he wrote songs for Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison.You listen to Gwar so I’m absolutely disaapointed that you don’t even know any of this. Just stick to Justin Bieberfuck and Miley Cyrus because they’ll have so many more hits of fame that are obviously more up your alley and maybe one day they will reach your VH1’s top douchebag countdown and you will be satisfied. \m/

    • #279 by Gfy on May 10, 2014 - 10:38 AM

      Tool bag..major fucking tool bag. Not just A tool but the whole bloody bag. Hope you aint in the music biz cause your taste in music sucks balls.

      • #280 by Gfy on May 10, 2014 - 10:42 AM

        The tool bag comment was for Bret. Go watch more vh1 twat.

      • #281 by dookieonglenn on May 10, 2014 - 12:12 PM

        have you douches considered he used vh1 as a slam against danzig…oh….doh…he did….danzig sucks….

  118. #282 by Will Kesling on May 10, 2014 - 7:41 AM

    Is that Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II. Also, Glen is just pissed because he hates mothers day. M0ooooooooothhhhherrrrrr.

  119. #283 by Pawhite on May 10, 2014 - 8:49 AM

    Meanwhile this is all this author has to offer the world….bravo. What a fine example of accomplishment you’ve shown the world. Proving once again what happens when a loser sits at home pining because he can’t the sex and recognition so precious to him from the external world. *golf clap* 🙂

  120. #284 by Danzingisanasshole on May 10, 2014 - 10:06 AM

    Dammit ya’ll, I’m screwed and need advice. I just got served. Literally. Danzig showed up at my house, handed me a court summons and sing/screamed “you just got served.” He did a weird little dance/convulsion and left. My cat’a missing also. I don’t have a “gazillion dollars” as the suit is seeking, but also can’t really “prove” that I have not, in fact, lived my entire life as a recreation of “that one week where Glen Danzig was super f%^*#}£ sane and boring, just to see what it was like.” I’m going to need someone here to send me their bank account details and social security number so I can send them all my money. Just look after it until this all blows over? I have a ton coming in from Nigeria this week also. Let me know if you’d like to help!

  121. #285 by brian on May 10, 2014 - 10:24 AM

    DUMDASS

    • #286 by dookieonglenn on May 10, 2014 - 12:14 PM

      IDOT!

  122. #287 by WolfMan on May 10, 2014 - 10:32 AM

    Danzig. Part Wolf yeeeeeahhh…

  123. #288 by Henry on May 10, 2014 - 11:29 AM

    I would like to sue Danzig for wasting everyone’s time.

    • #289 by trina on May 11, 2014 - 12:46 AM

      more like you all are wasting your own time over this dumb gossips. keep it to yourself..

  124. #290 by dookieonglenn on May 10, 2014 - 12:14 PM

    My mother read this to me backwards….

  125. #291 by ImTheOne on May 10, 2014 - 12:29 PM

    Hail Danzig!!!

  126. #292 by whf on May 10, 2014 - 12:33 PM

    Love the point and funny. But what did this spawn from? U r supposed to let people in on the joke at some point.

    • #293 by Keith Spillett on May 10, 2014 - 4:11 PM

      I appreciate the point and thank you for your kind words, but if people are unable to figure that Danzig is not suing 2.6 billion people, I’m not sure if there is much I can do other than writing “THE DANZIG BIT IS SATIRE” in neon letters down the side of the Empire State Building.

      The large number of intelligent readers who are able to tell the difference (like yourself) deserve to be treated like adults capable of discerning obvious fantasy from reality. As a reader, I feel that I have the right to be respected as a being capable of understanding irony and want to extend to my audience the same level of respect.

      You can’t make people think without believing they are capable of doing it.

  127. #294 by Todd on May 10, 2014 - 12:38 PM

    So much win

  128. #295 by mofojo on May 10, 2014 - 2:36 PM

    Reblogged this on Joseph's Healthy Bass Blog and commented:
    The world is probably ending. Danzig is evil now.

  129. #296 by Andy Morgan on May 10, 2014 - 2:39 PM

    I would counter-sue him for not listening to my prayers to hook up with that one chick last Friday at Dublin Cellar during the Kentucky Derby Festival, but he’s already suing me for asking for her number with consulting Him first.

  130. #297 by Jessica on May 10, 2014 - 2:55 PM

    oh geez lol I love satire it’s completely entertaining for two reasons. The first is that there are certain people who believe such a mess of a story. I love reading the comments and two, the stories themselves serve to let me see an artists imagination. I make the comparison thusly Danzig=metal version of Chuck Norris.

  131. #298 by AnjumSinghania on May 10, 2014 - 4:14 PM

    Great post. Loved it.
    On a side note, I would be obliged if you could also check out my blog DoubleThink. I’ll drop its link below!

    “DoubleThink is an up and coming blog that is extremely satisfying for every kind of a person, be it the thinker, the optimist, the pessimist, the poet, the musician, the couch-potato, the bookworm or the photographer.We are a bunch of people with different backgrounds, contradictory opinions but one voice. And this blog is our voice.”

    Come hear us at :
    http://doublethinkhub.wordpress.com/

  132. #299 by Bill Stevens on May 10, 2014 - 4:20 PM

    If he wins, do we all have to have 3 cents sucked out of our bank accounts?

  133. #300 by crow cobain on May 10, 2014 - 4:32 PM

    He cannot sue me….Lol

  134. #301 by therealpaulhedrick on May 10, 2014 - 4:37 PM

    Lol. How about I sue him for suing the world? He’s the definition of an ignorant money hungry celebrity!

    • #302 by Perfectly Flawed on May 10, 2014 - 5:44 PM

      Wow! Your calling him ignorant when it’s a fake story. Hmmm! Do you have a mirror? Look in it!

  135. #303 by Christina on May 10, 2014 - 5:06 PM

    I love Glen. I love Samhain. Theeee Misfits and everything about this article..

    • #304 by Keith Spillett on May 10, 2014 - 5:52 PM

      Me too! I’m glad you get that. I’m a huge fan of all three. To me, this is the best way to express that, as strange as that may sound. Neither of the parties involved in this are sides I feel the need to take. My issue is more that metal has really evolved into a cliche ridden money grab at this point. I don’t mind the money grab part nearly as much as the cliches.

      • #305 by Pawhite on May 11, 2014 - 1:23 AM

        Then why did you target Glenn Danzig? He has been battling the corporate side of music for years…from the beginning. He has been one of theeee hardest working examples for his fans over the years (even as gruff as he can be) and hasn’t sold out. He endures a lot of adversary to stay true to himself. He researches REAL literary information to give the audience not only music but knowledge about honest subjects. It’s great that you like the music but you should look at the underlying dedication it took to create it. Don’t take my word for it. Do the research. Obviously, I am a biased fan hands down but there is a good reason.

      • #306 by Keith Spillett on May 11, 2014 - 8:48 AM

        It’s a reasonable point. I’m glad you brought this up because it gives me a chance to give you an idea of where this comes from. I would say that satire is a form of homage or tribute. The mockery in this is geared at the myth that surrounds him, as is the case with most of these articles.

        He’s a pretty sharp guy from what I’ve seen. I am sure that he is bright enough to distinguish between himself as a person and Danzig the image and would assume he is self-aware enough to get that it is the image is what is being discussed here.

        Artists are actors who play characters for their audience. The article is a discussion of Danzig the image, not Danzig the person. Neither of us know him personally (I don’t think), but my assumption about him is that he has the capability to laugh at how his image has gone completely beyond the boundaries of reality. People are so amazed that he buys cat litter or reads books or gets punched and “brought down to our level”. If you check out his Twitter feed, he’s hysterical. He makes comments all the time where he says “typical Danzig things” that are hilariously overblown to make fun of how he is perceived.

        I respect him enough to believe he’d get the joke.

      • #307 by Smith Comma John on May 11, 2014 - 4:40 AM

        I mean, yeah, this whole thing is ridiculous, but Pawhite has a point. Danzing, the asshat that he is has made some great music, and judging from the lyrics of Danzig era Misfits alone, is incredibly well read (at least in regards to Victorian literature).

      • #308 by Pawhite on May 11, 2014 - 9:22 AM

        Right on Keith.

  136. #309 by nicole on May 10, 2014 - 5:50 PM

    Its just a super lame attempt on his part to try and feel relevant. What a douche! And even more, if any of these do go to court, then he is by far not the only one who is a.moron! Face it Danzig, you will never be even close as relevant as u may have once been. You are a forgotten peice of shit on yesterdays shoe; that was cheap enough to throw away. What an idiot. Sincerely, nicole

  137. #310 by Will on May 10, 2014 - 6:17 PM

    That makes me a sad panda.

  138. #311 by Perfectly Flawed on May 10, 2014 - 6:24 PM

    If anyone should be sued it should be the writer of the false article. Slander! Dragging his name through the mud can result in a law suit, or multiple law suits. I would touch on freedom of speech but as I noticed in other comments there are some truely rude, ignorant, and harsh comments being made about our country and constitution. How a silly article about Danzig turned into a political debate I have no clue. Well to those of you thinking is real, I won’t crush your blissful ignorance. To those of you being out right rude and taking a topic and turning it to bash our country…. shame!

    • #312 by Keith Spillett on May 10, 2014 - 7:08 PM

      Check out the Supreme Court case Falwell vs. Hustler Magazine if you are looking to better understand how “slander” is actually interpreted in relation to the First Amendment.

    • #313 by Smith Comma John on May 10, 2014 - 7:25 PM

      This is written press, thus it is called libel, not slander. At least get your legal definitions right.

      • #314 by Keith Spillett on May 10, 2014 - 7:33 PM

        Correct and the Court’s rulings are very clear on what libel is and isn’t. This doesn’t come close. Nor has a single thing that has appeared on this site.

  139. #315 by mxq on May 10, 2014 - 6:35 PM

    Ahh goddammit I read the comments again. Shit.

  140. #316 by elizabeth on May 10, 2014 - 6:48 PM

    LMAO!! I needed a good laugh…. thanks 🙂

  141. #318 by Stephanie Rosten on May 10, 2014 - 7:41 PM

    This is clearly meant for a quick laugh. Danzig may be a bit of douche at times but he is brilliant. I’ve been a fan for 20 plus years.

    • #319 by Keith Spillett on May 10, 2014 - 7:49 PM

      Me too. He seems to be a very witty person and I think some of the persona he creates is a very self-aware act. I’d like to believe if he read this he’d understand both the deeper context of it and the humor.

      • #320 by Ry on May 10, 2014 - 11:48 PM

        Hilarious piece!

      • #321 by Pawhite on May 11, 2014 - 9:18 AM

        Lol, besides it being a great test to demonstrate how the human brain has undeveloped itself to the detriment of being able to decipher fact from fiction. Proving once again that the movie “Idiocracy” is a fucking prophecy. 🙂

      • #322 by Keith Spillett on May 11, 2014 - 9:30 AM

        I feel that way too sometimes doing this, but I also see a lot of comments that show wit and creativity. One of the most exhilarating parts of doing this has been to meet the people who REALLY get it and having a chance to dialogue with them. Thanks for taking a minute to discuss this with me in a serious and respectful way. Conversations like this are,for me, the payoff.

        Idiocracy is the most hysterical, frightening film I’ve ever seen. Brilliant satire in the fact that, while it seems to be about “the future”, it is so clearly about the present it is unbelievable.

        “I guess this is how Albert Einstein felt.”
        “Maybe that’s why he created that bomb”
        Way too brilliant on about 6 million different levels.

      • #323 by Pawhite on May 11, 2014 - 10:05 AM

        Lol, it is definitely about the present.
        Thanks for having a serious point by the way. Sorry that I become spitfire sarcastic when I see blasephomy without solid underlying logic.
        I see your point better and I realize I have a different way of presenting mine.
        But it must be a lot of work sifting through more of the same commentary to hit actual logic. 🙂

      • #324 by Keith Spillett on May 11, 2014 - 10:41 AM

        Ha! Sometimes. I’m just glad to have people read my stuff, to be honest! I’m just some dude who writes nonsense for fun. I never dreamed in a million years I’d be lucky enough to actually reach people. 😉

      • #325 by Pawhite on May 11, 2014 - 4:18 PM

        Congratulations on eliciting response..:)

  142. #326 by Momzig on May 10, 2014 - 8:12 PM

    “Danzig’s five hundred thousand dollar suit against Carol Mosley, a tax accountant in Boise, Idaho, for listening to “How The Gods Kill” without headbanging during the part where the song gets really heavy will go forward.”

    The rest of his suits are frivolous but I’ll allow this.

  143. #327 by DaniHell on May 10, 2014 - 8:39 PM

    Anyone who has seriously followed Danzig, his bands, side projects or philosophy is not surprised by this one bit! and furthermore who can listen to HOW THE GODS KILL and not headbang! Still can’t get my head around that one…

  144. #328 by James Post Mccoy on May 10, 2014 - 8:47 PM

    must kill lars. . . .must kill. . . . lars. . . .must. . . . . . . kill. . . . . . . . lars. . .

  145. #329 by Betsy Goodrich on May 10, 2014 - 8:53 PM

    If he sues this little songbird, I will sue him for violating my civil rights under The Americans With Disabilities Act, The Olmstead Pardon Of The Disabled, The Federal Hate Crimes Act and The Individuals With Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Act. And, I will have him sent to St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Washington, DC, to be scared straight by John Hinkley, Junior himself and make him suffer for the way Sarah Elizabeth Crider, The Rodney King and Kitty Genovise of The Disabled suffered.
    DANGER WOMAN

  146. #330 by Eric on May 10, 2014 - 9:19 PM

    Any respect I had left for Danzig after he got knocked out on youtube I just lost. I may have to burn all of his albums now, damn!!

  147. #331 by three dog on May 10, 2014 - 9:23 PM

    Holy fuck, he looks like the byproduct of splicing Sigourney Weaver and Marlon Brando circa The Godfather.

  148. #332 by kwickersheim on May 10, 2014 - 9:39 PM

    I’m new to u & hooked. Thk u 4 entertaining me

  149. #333 by Steve on May 10, 2014 - 9:47 PM

    Glenn Danzig probably had a reasonable explanation for buying kitty litter even if he doesn’t have a cat. I keep kitty litter at my house in case of an oil spill. I don’t have a cat I have a Korean Jindo Gae puppy named Rammstein, and he doesn’t eat at Wendys either 😀

  150. #334 by jody on May 10, 2014 - 10:40 PM

    That kitty litter was photoshopped!

  151. #335 by Joel on May 11, 2014 - 12:24 AM

    I just got my subpoena in the mail. This is real; he is suing me for 10,666 dollars (of course). After reading the fine print, his lawyers have figured out a loophole to attain possession of my mortal soul if that amount, plus court costs, are not paid promptly. I barely make minimum wage-and I need my soul. He keeps them in his neck, I think…I’m scared!

  152. #336 by wesmantoddshaw on May 11, 2014 - 12:50 AM

    Reblogged this on The Nonconformist and commented:
    I have not read anything this funny in a LONG time. I laughed, and then I laughed more.

  153. #337 by CRAIG on May 11, 2014 - 6:19 AM

    Sigourney?

  154. #338 by Ed on May 11, 2014 - 8:09 AM

    How do you not know who this guy is! ? Danzig is a rock and roll / punk rock legend. Ummm… ever hear of the Misfits? Bands like Metallica would not exist with out them.

  155. #339 by Brian Williamson on May 11, 2014 - 9:04 AM

    the ultimate self centeredness

  156. #340 by easybreezelife on May 11, 2014 - 11:36 AM

    Reblogged this on easybreezelife and commented:
    AMAZING!! YES!!!

  157. #341 by Jody on May 12, 2014 - 7:29 AM

    Danzig has little man syndrome…..

  158. #342 by Jim Porto on May 12, 2014 - 6:55 PM

    I have no idea who Danzig is, but you are one fantastic writer!

  159. #344 by Lil Miss Shalla on May 20, 2014 - 6:22 AM

    too damn funny

  160. #345 by God on May 20, 2014 - 8:41 AM

    I’m dead, so stop talking about me!

    GOD

  161. #346 by Dakotah Stricker on May 22, 2014 - 11:29 PM

    listened to static age whilst eating a bagel this morning…SUED

  162. #347 by nataliekobrapuke on May 25, 2014 - 1:53 AM

    that motherfucker is suing me too. I ran up to him thinking he was Sigourney weaver and had just come back from her two month vacation to Chernobyl. then he got mad and pushed me. and I lightly slapped him and he did three backflips and exploded twice before getting dragged away crying by random bystanders. i just got notice in the mail.
    ❤ nataliekobrapuke

  163. #350 by conor on May 27, 2014 - 9:56 AM

    Cocaine is a hell of a drug lol

  164. #351 by Nate on June 2, 2014 - 2:42 PM

    I feel sorry for every person that doesn’t realize this is fake.

  165. #352 by Michael Claymore on June 17, 2014 - 6:38 AM

    Now i’m sorry for all the times i made fun of his height. Deeply, deeply sorry, Mr Danzig, sir.

  166. #353 by sadi13 on June 30, 2014 - 8:45 PM

  167. #354 by Priscilla Reyes on July 26, 2014 - 12:14 AM

    His song “Mother” is very disturbing, especially the part the says, “Mother, tell your child not to come my way.” It kinda makes him sound like a pedophile.

    • #355 by John Nelson on October 16, 2014 - 1:48 PM

      It’s especially damning when you watch the video on his ‘book collection’ and Danzig picks a book by Montague Summers as one of his favorites. Montague Summers was rumored to be a pederast (so you know he really was).

  168. #356 by Todd Yasutake on September 2, 2014 - 9:30 PM

    Well I will have to wait and hear when he is going to sue me. I worked in a nightclub he performed in during the early nineties and when their lighting director was introducing me to the band I had no idea who danzig was and introduced myself asking who he was in the band. Their LD was laughing his ass off apparently danzig thought everyone should know who he is.

  169. #357 by Allan Roberts on September 3, 2014 - 6:32 PM

    The next celebrity to go postal watch out!

  170. #358 by dirtyhippie87 on September 26, 2014 - 6:14 PM

    Who wrote this? Keith Spillett, I want to marry you.

  171. #360 by Wyzdom Magill on October 16, 2014 - 10:00 AM

    Glenn Danzig has always been a flake and out there. I’m shocked that if this even remotely true that any Judge or court in this country would not file a motion to have him go under psych eval for 72 hrs. The man is completely off hos damned rocker.

    • #361 by John Nelson on October 16, 2014 - 2:06 PM

      I’ve had my Samoan attorney, one of God’s own prototypes, file that very motion. If nothing else, it will serve as a delaying action, and his suit may not get to me in the course of my natural life.

      We’re also preparing our own counter suit against Danzig for hoarding the world’s supply of beef tallow in his neck.

  172. #362 by Samdaman on October 16, 2014 - 2:28 PM

    I’m probably on the docket because I’m a Slayer fan.

  173. #363 by izombiei on October 16, 2014 - 5:19 PM

  174. #364 by ImNotDanzig on October 16, 2014 - 6:18 PM

    He bought kitty litter because he $#!+$ in a box!

  175. #365 by Ivan Clay Chambers on October 16, 2014 - 9:32 PM

    he should sue his mother for giving him that jaw line, easy knockout.
    `

  176. #366 by Tiffany Jenkins on October 16, 2014 - 11:24 PM

    Danzig, and Kanyuck West should get together as a Couple. They both believe they are bigger than they actually are.

  177. #367 by Dave on October 17, 2014 - 2:21 AM

    I sure hope he sues me so I can counter sue him and get a piece of that sweet sweet insanity money.

  178. #368 by Arcadia on October 17, 2014 - 11:07 AM

    This is so beautifully written, I wept. Fuck him.

  179. #369 by Gabe Onannza on October 17, 2014 - 4:48 PM

    What’s Sigourney Weaver so mad about ?

  180. #370 by Rachelle on October 18, 2014 - 4:31 AM

    Is it just me or does the first pic look like a penis wearing a Halloween mask?

  181. #371 by Edward vance on October 19, 2014 - 5:37 PM

    He’s getting old. Record sales are surely at an all time low. I suspect this is a publicity stunt to generate sales of a future cd. If people think he went bananas, they will be more likely to purchase his album and related trinkets.

  182. #372 by Robert Austin on October 20, 2014 - 5:16 PM

    Grow up or grow down or just go away.

  183. #373 by scott on October 21, 2014 - 6:47 PM

    Actually as a character witness I will help him win 51% if his cases.

  184. #374 by WolfPuppetmaster Powell on October 21, 2014 - 6:52 PM

    Myself Being (I Am) The Origonal Creator Of The Galaxy’s And Father of Jesus Christ, Satan / Lucifer, Buda, Allah, Niche, to name just a few of my children, I am proud of my Wayward Son Glen Danzig for his ambitious efforts, Though Glen’s desire to Exterminate the Whole Human Race, Is not a part of the Power I have bestowed unto him, He Is very talented and ambitious, He’s A chip off the old block Wrong or not, I Forgive Him. He Like most of my other kids are upset with me and Jealous Because Jesus was and is my favorite, I could never hide that fact and they all know I made him the most powerful of all, As God, I left the family business to Jesus, Supriseingly More than I had Anticipated seem to fallow and work Hard for My Sun Lucifer even with the threat of their Soul’s Burning for eternity. WOW what an over achiever that kid is… Well It’s out of the bag now, I have returned to earth, I’ve been living among you as human and gave myself no memory of who I truly am and Removed Godly powers until my Fourtyith Birthday, I wanted to see what I would do, And how I would turn out in the world today, To better be able to Judge, Let’s call it undercover boss, I’m not real happy about the greed and lack of caring for others. I will keep you updated later on that. Well I have Some World leaders I am In the middle of Taking care of, Hanging out with The Son of darkness, I’m giving my blessing on taking their Souls & Getting mid Evil With Some. TTYL… P.S. For now Start fixing the things you can, And treating fellow mankind much better, I demand you eleminate hunger, Stop killing for Kicks and Population control. To the 13 Wealthiest families on this planet, I Send Anonymous Time to take them down Spread that money around to those in need, Do not got greedy yourselves… Thanks I Am

  185. #375 by Lacey on October 21, 2014 - 10:10 PM

    He might as well sue me as well, seeing as I had no clue of his existence until I read this article. I better look into hiring a good attorney.

  186. #376 by Kelly on October 22, 2014 - 12:25 AM

    Snorlax doesn’t even have high defence. Snorlax has high special defence.

  187. #377 by Mungos Argentus on October 22, 2014 - 12:37 AM

    I admit it! I have wronged Danzig for never, ever, ever, EVER being in the Countenance of His Greatness, or ever giving a shit for so doing. I have sinned, Danzig, FORGIVE ME!

    Or sue me, I don’t care, whatever……

  188. #378 by wtf on October 23, 2014 - 2:34 PM

    Dude you lost you fn mind shut the hell up and make music

  189. #379 by Minoring In Baseball on October 27, 2014 - 11:42 AM

    Wow… Someone has Mother issues…

  190. #380 by Spadersh! on October 29, 2014 - 1:04 AM

    Who the fuck is this guy? He dares compete with Morgan Freeman?!

  191. #381 by Tres on November 24, 2014 - 10:02 AM

    Im gonna counter sue the one whos name i wont say for wasting my time reading about his silly lawsuits and feeling that i had to comment on it.

  192. #382 by god on March 24, 2015 - 7:01 AM

    You people know this is a satirical website? Go hang yourselves you stupid apes

  193. #383 by Robert on May 6, 2015 - 5:04 PM

    You have got to be kidding me, the music was good but this has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. I know this is not true but it’s stupid Danzig go fuck yourself you ware wolf wanna be faggot!

  194. #384 by mark on May 7, 2015 - 9:27 AM

    In seen a video one time where Glen got pissed at this guy in another band and pushed him around once or twice, this dude pushed Glen to the ground and was gonna beat his weird ass. It was pretty funny. Glen wouldnt get back up. What a weird motherfucker

  195. #385 by Shawn on May 7, 2015 - 3:54 PM

    Seriusly needs mental assesment sounds like a desprit call for help

  196. #386 by Shari Kalous on May 8, 2015 - 12:19 PM

    Why is he even worth writing a story on? POS. Sick twisted and should be locked up in an asylum. Not worth reading and no I didnt read it. The part of him thinking he wolf and vampire and what was enough to make puke and post.

  197. #387 by Tom Herring on May 9, 2015 - 7:08 AM

    Sigourney Weaver really looks terrible!

  198. #388 by Kaydi35 on May 10, 2015 - 7:44 AM

    What a frickin moron!!!! Someone needs to lock him in a mental ward and bar the doors. Lol

  199. #389 by William Tyson Day Sr. on May 12, 2015 - 4:57 PM

    Someone’s , (Glenn Danzig), is obviously not playing with a full deck. What a fucking moron. He should hook up with that lady who’s suing all homosexual’s on behalf of God. What a couple. Couple douchebags.

  200. #390 by aleycater on June 17, 2015 - 11:09 AM

    Im counter suing his grizzly muton chop ass for forcing me to leave the Korn, Manson , Danzig concert early by ripping off his shirt only halfway thru the first song without asking me in my city of kck. Memorial Hall 1993. I want a hundred thousand but we can settle out of court for 20$ and a 40oz mickeys
    Alex Chandler

    Maddy Chandler lol read this article Hilary Darywas with me and can be my witness along with a bunch others. I said “soon as he rips his shirt off we leaving”

    P.s. i love Melvins. . . Not you💀

  201. #391 by Ed Ondako on June 17, 2015 - 1:32 PM

    damn, shame. and he looks like Frankenstein’s creature on Penny Dreadful

  202. #392 by This is dumb on June 17, 2015 - 4:42 PM

    He will probably sue me because, not only can I not name even one of his songs, but i can’t remember ever listening to any.

  203. #393 by Purji on June 17, 2015 - 4:53 PM

    Reblogged this on Stuff! Also Things! and commented:
    I would do further research to see if this is fake, but I am kind of okay with believing it to be real. I like crazy people.

  204. #394 by Dave on June 17, 2015 - 5:30 PM

    batshit crazy

  205. #395 by That other guy on June 18, 2015 - 6:52 PM

    I shall file a countersuit for7 billion and $1.

  206. #396 by Ben on August 20, 2015 - 9:25 AM

    I will file a counter suit against him for the cost of my admission to the show I went to of his. Sucks for Danzig because It was a great show. Prick.

  207. #397 by Asmodeous the desolate one on September 26, 2015 - 4:38 PM

    You guys are absolutely ridiculous, give the man a break, for he is but an angry man from New Jersey, a feeling I know well…The Beast 666.

  208. #398 by wdsta1 on September 27, 2015 - 2:11 AM

    Good i hope he succeeds!!Get yours Glenn fuck all these fools!!

  209. #399 by wdsta1 on September 27, 2015 - 2:26 AM

    Bla bla bla bla blahhh
    Glenns music speaks for itself
    Thats why u are all here
    at that
    The dudes 60 yrs old
    Have some fckn respect
    Nuthn worse thn a bunch of computer
    Pussys talkn shit behind a screen
    Hey trolls
    troll on this
    Next time somethng really bad happens to you
    And your world is fuckd up and you get fuckd up & sumthng really bad happens to you
    Thats frm Glenn
    Ill never read this or visit this silly as page so let the games begin
    Remember what i said
    Your carmas around the corner
    Computer sissys hahaha
    Fckn lames

  210. #400 by iknowthetruth on January 15, 2016 - 3:04 PM

    Just another lucierian fool, I on the other hand have a legitmate reason to sue the world. Because you allow jesuits and luciferian freemasons protect and ruin the world with fear mongering BS from main stream media, while the jews blend in stealing peoples ideas and making the idea their own since they have the funding to do so. Sue the jews, jesuits and luciferian freemasons which by the way are in all your cathlotic churches trying to convert everyone into this false belief.

  211. #401 by Mariann Eperjesi-Simms on January 31, 2016 - 3:09 AM

    Shit…I’m going to get sued because I never heard of Danzig before reading this write-up.

  212. #402 by Jennifer on February 2, 2016 - 6:35 PM

    Wow when he turn into a mental case. My husband doesn’t believe this storey i told him yes it is real and this idiot is trying to sue the whole world he at first thought it was some kind of video game. He won’t even read the storey cause he is so smart and thinks. I dont know what im reading. Well i just told him dont be surprised when he sues you.

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