The Tyranny of Tradition

Last night in Tupelo, Mississippi, the bizarre Presidential campaign of Donald Trump took yet another strange turn. During a 3-minute press conference Trump lashed out at several of his Republican rivals, Hillary Clinton, the Boy Scouts, the Boston Red Sox bullpen, comedian Sinbad, people who read poetry, women, dentists, those who are allergic to gluten and the entire country of Ecuador.

His most vitriolic rant, however, came in the waning moments of the event, when he called for the United States to build a wall to “keep Mexican metal out of this country”.   He singled out the “Mexi-metal terror rape band Sepultura” as the greatest threat to the safety of Americans since Y2K.

“I remember when I heard Roots back in 1996. It sounds like there are about 30 of them in a room mixing metal with Mexican drums and guitar.  What a mess! The American taxpayer should not be forced to pay for the health care that these people will end up needing from playing on all of those dirty instruments. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the daughters and nieces of good, upstanding Americans infected with Mexican venereal diseases and tetanus!”

Mexi-Metal…Gateway Drug To Satan Rape?

Trump became even more heated when a reporter pointed out that Sepultura were not from Mexico, but from Brazil. “I’m sick and tired of Mexicans, no matter what country they come from. Particularly when they start trying to screw up heavy metal.”

“Mexican bands like Brujeria, Soulfly, Gorod, and Sodom are killing metal right now and you people sit there like there isn’t a crisis. I don’t care if it bankrupts the United States, we need to build a wall and keep these animals out. Then, America will be great again.”

Moments after his anti-Sepultura rant a Gallup Poll showed that 69 percent of Republican voters would elect The Donald President if the election were today. That’s up 15 percentage points from when he issued his last racial slur.