Posts Tagged Motörhead
November 22, 1963 was a day that few Americans could ever forget. On a visit to Dallas, John F. Kennedy’s motorcade was fired on and the President was killed. His alleged assassin Lee Harvey Oswald was murdered a day later leaving investigators little time to find out who else might have been involved in the plot . In spite of an extensive study by The Warren Commission, which claimed that Oswald acted alone, a good portion of the public remains unconvinced of the official story to this day. Last week, a private investigator working for the Tyranny of Tradition obtained clear and compelling photographic evidence that Oswald was not the only shooter on that dreadful November day.
One of the main reasons that many have believed the case was unsolved was what is known as the single bullet or magic bullet theory. The account of the assassination put forth in The Warren Commission report was that the bullet that killed President Kennedy also caused several wounds to Texas Governor John Connelly, who was in the car with him at the time. Scientists have long held the belief that this is almost impossible and means there must have been another assassin firing at Kennedy from another spot. Some witnesses, including members of the Secret Service who were guarding Kennedy, claimed they heard and saw gunfire from an area known as the grassy knoll. For years, there has been much speculation as to whether this was true and, if so, who was the shooter on the grassy knoll. We now can conclusively state that Ian Fraser Kilmiester, known to music fans and friends alike as Lemmy, fired the fatal shots from the grassy knoll that day.
Lemmy had a rather normal early childhood in England. He was extremely bright and known for being a remarkable shot. He spent a good portion of his days studying military history and learning to play bass. When he was 10, he went to live abroad with his “Uncle Alvin”, a shadowy figure who was not actually related to his family but took a strong interest in young Lemmy.
Very little was known about “Uncle Alvin”, except that he was an American who traveled throughout Central America extensively. Alvin often took Lemmy on these trips with him. Lemmy has refused to say much about “Uncle Alvin”, who he lost touch with when he turned 19, but through careful investigation, we have learned that “Uncle Alvin” is none other than CIA superspy E. Howard Hunt.
A high-ranking former CIA agent contacted us a month ago with this story. In a three hour meeting with our editorial staff last week, he detailed how Lemmy first came to Hunt’s attention when he (at nine years old) mailed a plan for how to overthrow the government of Guatemala to the CIA. Hunt was so impressed with the plan (which came to be known as Operation PBSuccess), he used it to remove President Jacobo Arbenz from office in that Central American nation. After using the plan, he began a friendship with Lemmy that lasted throughout his teen years.
At 15, Lemmy became an integral part of planning the failed Bay of Pigs invasion in Cuba. Both Hunt and Lemmy blamed President Kennedy for not calling in air support and letting the plan fail. They wanted revenge and on November 22, 1963 they got it. Beyond being motivated by their lust for vengeance, Hunt was working on behalf of several sinister high level agents within the government who felt Kennedy’s presidency was weakening the United States and leaving us vulnerable to communist infiltration.
Lemmy and Hunt met Oswald during the planning stages of the Bay of Pigs. They struck up a friendship and later, came together to commit the most shocking crime in American history. Oswald was to fire from the book depository building while Lemmy was to shoot from the grassy knoll, essentially creating a death trap from which the President could not escape. Hunt was responsible for the set up and for getting the two out of Dallas after the assassination. While Oswald was captured and eventually murdered by Jack Ruby, a guitarist from one of Lemmy’s early bands, Kilmeister was dressed as a hobo and snuck out of town in an outbound train car.
Hunt cut ties to Lemmy in order to keep the murder a secret. Lemmy returned to England and got involved in the rock scene, first as a roadie to Jimi Hendrix, then as a member of the space-rock band Hawkwind, and finally as leader of the band Motorhead. An unnamed CIA agent who hoped the band could be used to infiltrate Soviet bloc countries and steal information while on tour introduced Philthy Animal Taylor, Motorhead’s drummer, to Lemmy. While it is not known whether this spying took place, it is clear that Philthy Animal was a CIA asset as late at 2001, when he faked his own death to hide his role in the government of Ugandan strongman Idi Amin.
The photograph obtained by Tyranny of Tradition shows Lemmy clearly standing on the grassy knoll firing the shots at Kennedy. In order to prove that it is Lemmy, we hired world-renowned dermatologist Dr. Andrew Falco to study the mole on Lemmy’s face in the picture with several other photos of Lemmy’s mole. According to Dr. Falco, he was nearly 100 percent certain that the mole on Lemmy’s face in the grassy knoll picture is the same mole he has today. Hours after meeting with us, Dr. Falco was found in his home, a victim of five self-inflicted gunshot wounds to the head.
In spite of the evidence of Lemmy’s involvement, the US government has, so far, not connected either Hunt or Lemmy to the killing. Hunt, for his part, confessed to being a part of the JFK assassination on his death bed in 2007. His confession has been largely ignored.
Many of Motorhead’s songs contain veiled references to the assassination, including the song “Stone Deaf In The USA” where Lemmy sings “You can have yourself a real good time…..You can have yourself a life of crime…Get me back to JFK.” The next verse ominously begins with the words “Down To Texas, Can’t Get Enough.”
Rumors have been floating around for years that Ace of Spades was actually the nickname he had for the Mannlicher-Carcano rifle that Lemmy, an avid gun collector, claimed to have bought for 100,000 dollars in the late 70s because of its use in a well-known, but unnamed murder. It is our belief that the famous murder linked to “The Ace of Spades” rifle is the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy and the assassin was, in fact, Lemmy Kilmeister.
For most people, having one liver removed is a torturous affair that leaves them with months of painful recovery. Yesterday afternoon, Lemmy Kilmister became the first man to ever have both livers removed at the same time. The marathon 6-hour surgery was followed by a half hour of recovery, dinner at a local bar and a 2-hour set of classic Motorhead tunes at The Rock Center, a metal club in downtown Pocatello, Idaho.
Doctors advised Lemmy to take at least three months off from performing, but his commitment to playing heavy metal was too great to hold him back. “I didn’t want to let the fans in Idaho down. After all, what do they really have to live for beyond the occasional concert?” said Lemmy this morning during his 3-hour weightlifting session.
Lemmy is no stranger to overcoming medical emergencies and soldiering on. Everyone is, of course, familiar with the time that in 1983 in Antwerp, Belgium he was mauled on stage by 15 pit bulls and continued to play his bass in spite of missing 9 fingers.
Who could forget the time the Chinese government accidentally detonated a nuclear bomb at a test facility 1,000 meters away from a Motorhead concert in Shanghai in 1988? Everyone within a radius of 12 miles was killed except Lemmy, who went on to play the entire Orgasmatron album from beginning to end to an arena filled with annihilated corpses.
However, because of Lemmy’s advanced age, going on stage after a surgery of this type may be his greatest feat.
Doctors are baffled as to how a man who has done so much damage to his body continues to exist. There were rumors as recently as 2003 that he was killed and replaced by a Lemmy-like robot, but several doctors have done independent tests to prove that he is a human. There was also rampant speculation that Lemmy has regularly been shooting the DNA of famed Russian monk Rasputin directly into his arm in the hopes of becoming indestructible, but this also has not been confirmed.
Some researchers have reasoned that it is possible that consuming the amount of Jack Daniels that he has ingested over his lifetime has actually made his body impervious to harm of any kind. Regardless of what his secret is, it is very possible that Lemmy cannot be destroyed by traditional means and will live on well into the next millennium.