Lemmy Has Surgery To Remove Both Livers; Plays Concert That Night

Lemmy On Stage Hours After Liver Removal Surgery

For most people, having one liver removed is a torturous affair that leaves them with months of painful recovery.  Yesterday afternoon, Lemmy Kilmister became the first man to ever have both livers removed at the same time.  The marathon 6-hour surgery was followed by a half hour of recovery, dinner at a local bar and a 2-hour set of classic Motorhead tunes at The Rock Center, a metal club in downtown Pocatello, Idaho.

Doctors advised Lemmy to take at least three months off from performing, but his commitment to playing heavy metal was too great to hold him back.  “I didn’t want to let the fans in Idaho down.  After all, what do they really have to live for beyond the occasional concert?” said Lemmy this morning during his 3-hour weightlifting session.

Lemmy is no stranger to overcoming medical emergencies and soldiering on.  Everyone is, of course, familiar with the time that in 1983 in Antwerp, Belgium he was mauled on stage by 15 pit bulls and continued to play his bass in spite of missing 9 fingers.

Who could forget the time the Chinese government accidentally detonated a nuclear bomb at a test facility 1,000 meters away from a Motorhead concert in Shanghai in 1988?   Everyone within a radius of 12 miles was killed except Lemmy, who went on to play the entire Orgasmatron album from beginning to end to an arena filled with annihilated corpses.

However, because of Lemmy’s advanced age, going on stage after a surgery of this type may be his greatest feat.

Lemmy

Doctors are baffled as to how a man who has done so much damage to his body continues to exist.  There were rumors as recently as 2003 that he was killed and replaced by a Lemmy-like robot, but several doctors have done independent tests to prove that he is a human.  There was also rampant speculation that Lemmy has regularly been shooting the DNA of famed Russian monk Rasputin directly into his arm in the hopes of becoming indestructible, but this also has not been confirmed.

Some researchers have reasoned that it is possible that consuming the amount of Jack Daniels that he has ingested over his lifetime has actually made his body impervious to harm of any kind.  Regardless of what his secret is, it is very possible that Lemmy cannot be destroyed by traditional means and will live on well into the next millennium.

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  1. #1 by Bjørn Torger Skjæveland on April 5, 2012 - 4:08 PM

    Humanity’s #1 priority should be to breed Lemmy with a cockroach, thus enabling us to conquer space!

    • #2 by Keith Spillett on April 5, 2012 - 4:09 PM

      I agree!!!!!

    • #3 by az on May 8, 2013 - 3:11 AM

      i thought the body had 1 liver… 2 kidneys yeh? lolz

      • #4 by George Mercado on December 4, 2013 - 1:36 PM

        Morons dont know their asses from their elbows, we only have one Liver.

  2. #5 by Ashley on April 5, 2012 - 6:15 PM

    Don’t humans have only one liver?

    • #6 by Ashley on April 5, 2012 - 6:19 PM

      But then again, he’s not missing 9 fingers either. Oh, jokes. Sometimes I get them.

      • #7 by Keith Spillett on April 5, 2012 - 6:25 PM

        Lemmy is more than a mere human. He has as many livers as he wants to.

        He actually started with 19 fingers, so he’s simply average in that department now.

    • #8 by Jocko on September 11, 2013 - 3:07 AM

      He grew 2 more after being exposed to radiation in Shanghai. So he lost 2 and has 1 left.

  3. #9 by Universe Number Five on April 5, 2012 - 6:21 PM

    Mainlining some Rasputin… I LOVE it!

  4. #10 by Skoolhaus on April 5, 2012 - 8:53 PM

    He cancelled Motorhead’s Gigantour gig in Austin due to laryngitis! And here I thought Lem was immune to all poxes…

  5. #11 by Bob Hargrove on April 5, 2012 - 10:59 PM

    Lemmy puts the “L” in legend!

    • #12 by Siimon on May 24, 2012 - 11:43 AM

      My mother has a Vena Cava feitlr because of blood clots. Not so sure that is the best answer for everyone, but it was for her. A feitlr is how a pulmonary doctor treats this and blood thinners are how a hematologist treats this. Unfortunately she still had to take comodin for the rest of her life. Hit me up on Email if you want to talk more details on her condition. And watch that Vitamin K!

  6. #13 by Daniel Pepper on April 6, 2012 - 7:09 PM

    *feat

  7. #14 by velvetgrass on April 6, 2012 - 11:17 PM

    I have a feeling that this whole article is just a hoax. But if someone can prove me wrong, does anybody know what venue (and if) Motorhead played in Pocatello, Idaho?

    • #15 by Damn on April 7, 2012 - 2:37 AM

      You, sir, are overly intelligent.

  8. #16 by J Farfort on April 8, 2012 - 9:25 AM

    Lemmy could beat Chuck Norris with one hand, a whisky in the other and play bass with his feet.

    J. Farfort

    jfarfort.blogspot.com
    leaveadooropen.com
    http://jenniferhell.tumblr.com/

    • #17 by Robin Graves on May 8, 2013 - 2:29 AM

      Chuck Norris fears Lemmy

    • #18 by dikkinainen kuopiosta on May 8, 2013 - 6:02 PM

      Nah, cigarette in another hand. Headbutt would be enough for Lemmy to beat such a lame ass dickweed as Chuck Norris.

    • #19 by Al Sayf on October 23, 2014 - 6:27 AM

      Chuck Norris calls Lemmy Chuck Norris.

  9. #20 by moe on April 10, 2012 - 8:21 PM

    good one. Although, “going on stage after a surgery of this type may be his greatest feet.”….it’s feat not feet.

  10. #23 by Olang on May 10, 2012 - 2:35 PM

    Good job Keith. This still cracks me up every time.

  11. #25 by a j on May 8, 2013 - 3:10 AM

    any decent writer (hell, any half-educated 6th grader)
    would know the difference between ‘their’ and ‘there’

    • #26 by Ms. Pibb on May 8, 2013 - 3:17 AM

      It’s really a shame that you exist a j.

  12. #27 by duncan on May 8, 2013 - 5:29 AM

    You only have one liver….

    • #28 by Keith Spillett on May 8, 2013 - 5:58 AM

      Most people have two. You are a mutant.

      • #29 by Sharon on June 26, 2013 - 8:09 AM

        I was laughing all the way to, Kieth Spilletts reply “most people have two. You are a mutant”. Now I am scared!

  13. #30 by peterdzoghi on October 4, 2013 - 1:50 AM

    I would have said “He was mauled on stage by 14 pit bulls and in spite of missing 14 fingers he continued to play his bass with his last remaining finger.”

  14. #31 by Rich Malenfant on December 4, 2013 - 9:59 AM

    Lemmy can have two livers 55 fingers and 4 heads! Why? He’s GOD!

    • #32 by Matt on December 5, 2013 - 7:32 PM

      Who would win in a fight; Lemmy or God?

  15. #33 by Aaron on April 2, 2014 - 12:18 AM

    For everyone who forgot It’s April Fool’s Day, I bet you feel real silly now (:

    • #34 by metalman on April 2, 2014 - 8:48 AM

      Good thing they didn’t have to take out his third liver…. then he wouldn’t be able to play that concert!

  16. #35 by Alex V on October 24, 2014 - 12:18 PM

    Reblogged this on BangWave Radio | Live 24hr Stream & Podcasts and commented:
    testing

  17. #36 by Rick Rivets on October 27, 2014 - 5:24 PM

    I love music but no music is worth dying for as the fans really don’t care if you live or die just as long as they can see a show. You should have had those large moles removed as long as you were under the knife. Fuck the tour and get the rest you need to recover properly. A world without Lemmy is a fucked up world. Cheers and get well soon…………..

  18. #37 by kindermode3.webnode.com on November 5, 2014 - 10:13 AM

    Jetzt darf er ja endlich. Es richtig gut.

  19. #38 by Jenn carne on August 29, 2015 - 4:04 PM

    Hey ya wanks-if you can’t tell that. This is all just one big joke…(come on…the 2liver thing was as ridiculous as having been mauled by 15pitbulls and still playing without 9fingers..that’s 1FINGER!!)as well as the radiation and playing to nothing but a mass venue of corpses…this world has to be coming to an end soon…fuckin’ idiots….

  20. #39 by Scott on August 31, 2015 - 6:37 AM

    He had a liver dinner so that’s how he had 2 removed😂

  21. #40 by Deaver on November 14, 2015 - 5:34 PM

    He is Chuck Norris,

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