An Open Letter to the Beatles

Crossing the street…or CROSSING THE LINE?!?!

Dear Paul, Ringo, John and The Other Guy,

I was driving my children to swimming lessons yesterday and your song “All You Need Is Love” came on the radio.  I had never really listened to the words in this song, but as a concerned parent, I decided to try to listen to the words that my children were hearing.  What I heard was truly shocking!  I find the message in this song to be deeply troubling and, as a concerned parent, I beg you to do what you can to stop radio stations from playing this song.

I’m sure that you thought that you were just writing another silly love song and, I mean, what’s wrong with that?  But, if you really think about the message in the song, I think you’ll come to understand why it disturbed me so much.  Imagine for a second, that an impressionable child heard this song and took it seriously.  Clearly, human beings need a good deal more than love to survive.  They need food, shelter, clothes (preferably from a decent designer), and air.  What if an impressionable child heard this song and decided to stop eating completely?  His concerned parents would beg him to eat but he would not.  What if, as he widdled away to the size of a twig, slowly starving to death and his concerned parents, now grief-stricken, asked him why he was doing this and he replied “Because the Beatles told me all I need is love”?  Could you live with your selves?

What if, even worse, he just decided to stop breathing? He could die within a moment or two giving the concerned parents only a few seconds to react.  What if his friends saw him stop breathing and thought that it was the “cool” thing to do?  What if hundreds, thousands of children stopped breathing just to not be “square”?  It could be an epidemic of epidemic proportions! Children, falling over dead in classrooms across America, with the words “All You Need Is Love” passing though their blue lips as they meet their maker.  Is that what you want?

Music has a major effect on the ideas of young people.  Do you know what Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolf Hitler, and Ted Bundy have in common?  As young men, they all listened to music.  And look what suffering they caused!

I demand that you stop allowing this song to be played on radio stations everywhere.  I also ask that you never fill our children’s souls with such blasphemous, anti-social ideas by playing this live.  Until you agree to stop this madness, I and a group of like-minded concerned parents, plan to boycott love.  We will not express love in words or actions.  We even plan on starting all tennis games at 15 so that no person ever has love.

Yours truly,

 

A Concerned Parent

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  1. #1 by Jim Wheeler on December 28, 2010 - 8:08 PM

    I feel your pain, Keith, but given modern media I think you are railing at the moon. How about a different perspective? How about teaching your children that life is complicated , that it can not be summed up by an adage, an aphorism or a song?

    How about teaching them that wisdom is a continuum, a life-long journey, and that it can always be improved but never perfected? How about teaching them that failure is inevitable at some time in every life, but that how we handle it and use it to savor our victories and build on them ultimately makes us better and happier human beings?

    IMHO.

    Jim

    • #2 by Keith Spillett on December 28, 2010 - 8:30 PM

      Heck of a point, Jim! You are right on.

      Life is complicated, but luckily, starting a crusade against an absurd pop song for inane reasons is not! Lucky for me.

  2. #3 by Zachary Dickey on December 28, 2010 - 8:25 PM

    Okay I will look at it from you’re point of view. If kids where to really take music that seriously I think you are attacking the wrong song. Playing With Fire by The Rolling Stones if kids where to take that song seriously children from Cali to New York would be bursting into flames. Not to mention thousands of other songs way worse than needing nothing but love.

    • #4 by Keith Spillett on December 28, 2010 - 8:28 PM

      “Children from Cali to New York would be bursting into flames” HA! Great reply!

  3. #5 by Jacky V. on December 28, 2010 - 10:49 PM

    *smirk* So does your boycott of love extend to the children you are trying to protect ; )

    Haha.

    • #6 by Keith Spillett on December 28, 2010 - 10:54 PM

      If this doesn’t work, I am even willing to go a step further and boycott my own children!!! It’s an extreme step, but I think not speaking to them will teach the Beatles a lesson and stop the madness once and for all.

  4. #7 by Jacky V. on December 29, 2010 - 12:46 AM

    THAT’ll teach them! The Beatles that is…

  5. #8 by nondualmind on December 29, 2010 - 7:42 AM

    Good tongue-in-cheek here. I know you hate the Beatles, but I think you’re forgetting about the historical framework against which this song was written. HIstorically, supposedly, this song was written for a live international broadcast using the new satellite technology of the time. They weren’t writing just another silly love song. It was the 60’s. The ‘make love not war’ era. There is also a hint here of the spiritual searching that was to follow.

    • #9 by Keith Spillett on December 29, 2010 - 8:35 AM

      I know what your saying, but they are evil. The Dark Prince appears in many forms! We must be on guard against his corrupting influence at all times.

  6. #10 by Dr Bruce on December 29, 2010 - 12:56 PM

    The Beatles are personally responsible for many social problems such as those referred to in your (supposed) “Open-letter”.

    However I consider you irresponsible in only addressing one of their many songs about any of the following:

    Thievery (eg. “Norwegian Wood (The Bird Has Flown)”, “Drive My Car” (ironically not “my” car at all as the person claims not to own a car.) etc.
    Arson (Eg. “Norwegian Wood (The Bird Has Flown)” etc.
    Sleeping in a bath (Eg. “Norwegian Wood (The Bird Has Flown)” etc.)
    Murder (Eg. “Happiness is a Warm Gun”, “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill”, “Come Together”, “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road”, “Norwegian Wood (The Bird Has Flown), “Run for your life” etc.)

    and of course
    Nazism (Eg. “Yesterday”, “Please Please Me”, “Hey Bulldog” etc.)

    Whilst your letter is very good at addressing one problem song of this infamous band, I’m afraid the problem runs quite a lot deeper. I suggest you re-write your letter appropriately.

    Or at least change it to be about “Norwegian Wood”.

    I hope this helps
    Regards
    Dr. Bruce.

    • #11 by Keith Spillett on December 29, 2010 - 2:09 PM

      You are totally correct. Having just recently heard of the Beatles, I had no idea of the depths of depravity that they sunk to in order to destroy the souls of innocent children. Thanks for your concern.

      Keep fighting the good fight, Doc!

  7. #12 by kluckmeister on December 30, 2010 - 12:51 PM

    “Clearly, human beings need a good deal more than love to survive.”

    Holy crap please tell this to every romantic movie watching girl/woman between the ages of 13-27. What is this obsession about defining your life by your relationships?

    • #13 by Keith Spillett on December 30, 2010 - 1:19 PM

      It ain’t only women, Kluckmeister. I clearly remember quite a few crestfallen teenage moments where I thought a bad date was the fifth sign of the apocalypse. In retrospect, I realize now that most of those problems I had with women were due to the influence of the Beatles on their minds. Had it not been for the Beatles, Beyonce would have never stopped returning my phone calls.

  8. #14 by Jacky V. on December 30, 2010 - 1:14 PM

    “What is this obsession about defining your life by your relationships?”

    F@#k yeah!

  9. #15 by Hugo Trepecel on September 15, 2012 - 2:13 PM

    You problably let your childs listen to very worst music, nowadays… Lyrics like:
    “So what we get drunk?
    So what we smoke weed?
    We’re just having fun
    We don’t care who sees
    So what we go out?
    That’s how it’s supposed to be
    Living young and wild and free”

    Just Saying…

  10. #16 by me on September 15, 2012 - 2:55 PM

    It is a physical impossibility to stop breathing, its a passive bodily function

    • #17 by Keith Spillett on September 15, 2012 - 5:42 PM

      We’re all different. That’s what makes us unique.

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