The Tyranny of Tradition

Ole Piley…The Next Mayor of Nebraska???

A media firestorm is swirling surrounding Tyranny of Tradition writer Keith Spillett’s October 31^st article on Exalted Piledriver Frontman and Nebraska Mayoral Candidate Gord “Piley” Kirchin. In the article, Spillett alleged that Kirchin “hinted that he would consider allowing ISIS to take control of parts of Lincoln, Nebraska and impose Sharia Law.”

Trusted news sources from Fox News’ anchor Megyn Kelly to Alex Jones have chided Spillett for irresponsibly stoking the American public’s fear of foreigners by reporting false information in an attempt to increase readership.

Spillett, who revealed this weekend that his source was a 7-year-old Trick or Treater dressed as an ISIS member, still stands by his article claiming that “whether the information is true or not, it was told to me by someone who might have had something to do with the situation, therefore, it is accurate.”

Tyranny of Tradition Writer Keith Spillett

Kirchin’s campaign manager Elizabeth Borden read a statement on Sunday morning vehemently denying that he would turn Lincoln into a bastion of Islamic radicalism.

“The Metal Inquisition is in no way associated, nor does it condone anything ISIS does besides the beheadings, and even then, only with professionally calibrated and registered Robespierre Industries Drop N’ Chop 2000© guillotines, even then only to be used on posers, wannabe’s and corporate lobbyists.”

“While ISIS could possibly generate a decent noise-core record or two, Sharia Law is pretty damned stupid and should be viewed as low and offensive as Nickelback’s last three albums, any two ‘songs’ by Drake, or any single millisecond of Justin Bieber’s total recorded output, and is to be shunned, reviled, and vilified as such.”

Meanwhile, Kirchin’s campaign has been emboldened by the scandal. Many Nebraskan’s who were initially put off by “Ole Piley’s” threat to make the “streets of Nebraska run red with the blood of those who betray the sacred cause of heavy metal” have begun to see him as a sympathetic figure.

“We kinda thought he was a bit, well, mentally disturbed when he started running. With that headpiece with all the spikes and all. Come to find out Ole Piley is a nice fella. And he’s against Sharia Law, so he’s alright by me,” said Merv Cunningham, a farmer and voter from McCook.

A Nebraska Voter on His Way To The Polls

A recent Gallup/CNN/Albert Speer Poll has Kirchin leading Nebraska Mayoral Incumbent Ben Roberts 61-57, with 7 percent of Nebraskans favoring former President Harry S. Truman. With the election on Tuesday and his numbers trending in the right direction, mayonnaise may end up being the new democracy.