Metalcore World Rocked By Stunning New Evidence of Hatebreed Singer’s Dark Mouseketeer Past

Jasta

For years, Hatebreed singer Jamey Jasta was thought to be one of the baddest men on the planet.  Jasta, a bandana wearing, tattoo-covered wildman, fronted one of the most rock’em-sock’em groups in the metalcore universe.  Hatebreed was a name that inspired fear in the hearts of men, women and children alike.  When Jasta howled the lyrics from songs like “Destroy Everything” and “In Ashes They Shall Reap” God-fearing, stability-loving citizens of this Great Republic cowered in terror.  All those years, Jasta was carrying a secret that threatened to shake the very foundations of the metalcore world.  Jamey was a former Mouseketeer.

Many of today’s top celebrities emerged from the 1990s version of The All-New Mickey Mouse Club. Keri Russell, Justin Timberlake, Brittney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Ryan Gosling were all part of the shows star-studded cast.  There was also a quiet, well-mannered, golden-throated young man by the name of Casey Shanahan.  He was only on the show for the 1990 season and is best remembered for a duet version the Ben E. King classic “Stand By Me” he performed with Spears.  His contract was not renewed and “Casey” disappeared into obscurity.  At least, that’s how the story goes.

Casey, who went by James when he wasn’t on the show, started a hardcore band with some of his friends back in New Haven, Connecticut that became one of the top selling metal acts of all time.  He claimed that during the time he was supposedly on the show, he was a mild-mannered high school student who listened to a lot of Slayer and avoided pop music like the plague.

CNN's Picture of

CNN’s Picture of “Casey” Jasta. He Is The Blonde Kid Standing Up In The Back With The Striped Shirt

Jasta has been hounded by rumors of his connection to the Mickey Mouse Club for years.  In 2005, a fan at a concert in Dallas, Texas, was arrested for trying to sneak backstage at a Hatebreed concert to get his Mickey Mouse Club tee shirt signed.  The fan, Dutch Engstrom, claimed in an interview with police that he had remembered “Casey” from the show and simply wanted to congratulate him on his success.  Hours later, Dutch reportedly hung himself in his prison cell.

Pike Bishop, a reporter with the Washington Post, was ready to run a story on the Jasta-Mouseketeer Connection when he was told it would not be published by his editor.  Days after the story was killed, Bishop died of a mysterious bacterial infection from consuming tainted shawarma at a Middle Eastern restaurant in Georgetown.

Deke Thornton, a stagehand on the 1990 Mickey Mouse Club show, contacted a publisher about potentially writing a tell-all novel about Jasta’s role on the show in 2009.  Minutes after his phone conversation, his San Antonio home was destroyed by a stray missile accidentally launched during a US Army training exercise.  He and his entire collection of 53 flat-tailed spider tortoises died instantly.

Finally, on Monday evening, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer ran a story showing clear, photographic evidence of Jasta’s time on the popular Disney channel show.  After the broadcast, Blitzer and his golf caddy Freddie Sykes were mauled to death by zebras in the CNN parking lot.  Police are calling the attack an accident.

IMG_4861Jamey_Jasta_By_Taya_Uddin--e1358981836894

Jasta himself has remained silent on the matter.  He has yet to comment on the CNN story or any of the other reports of his involvement with the Mickey Mouse Club.  However, his image as a warrior of true metalcore may never recover from the stories and pictures of his misspent youth.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

  1. #1 by mirkinfirkin on June 12, 2013 - 12:46 PM

    It truly is your childhood that scars you, including your formative teen years.

    By being a Mouseketeer, young Jamey was deeply scarred by being part of an Evil Empire, its Horrible and Dark Influence entering and Twisting his Soul, forming the Twisted Creature that he is today.

    I, by contrast was part of the Howdy-Doody Show and have dedicated my life to Fighting Evil, particularly in the form of C.H.U.D. and Morlocks.

    • #2 by Keith Spillett on June 12, 2013 - 12:57 PM

      CHUD was probably the greatest American film ever made. Second only, maybe, to The Stuff.

      • #3 by mirkinfirkin on June 12, 2013 - 1:22 PM

        I’m torn between “Plan 9 From Outer Space” and “The Star Wars Holiday Special.”

      • #4 by Keith Spillett on June 12, 2013 - 1:25 PM

        Both great works. I’m sort of an Ed Wood purist, so I prefer Glen or Glenda.

      • #5 by mirkinfirkin on June 12, 2013 - 1:32 PM

        Ed Wood had a hand in the Holiday Special? No wonder! COOOOOOOOL!

      • #6 by Jeremiah Cress on June 12, 2013 - 2:09 PM

        I showed my girlfriend both of those films recently. Her life is better because of it, in my opinion.

      • #7 by Keith Spillett on June 12, 2013 - 4:11 PM

        CHUD is so bad it’s good, but I actually swear by that movie The Stuff. Larry Cohen is a brilliant B director. It’s a heck of a horror satire of consumer madness.

  2. #8 by Ian Kinross on June 12, 2013 - 12:57 PM

    The plot thickens. Great piece.
    Ian Kinross

  3. #10 by Evangel Tepes on June 12, 2013 - 2:06 PM

    Now we all die.

  4. #11 by Malachi Wilson Fulwiler on June 12, 2013 - 2:09 PM

    Is this a real story?

    • #12 by Malachi Wilson Fulwiler on June 12, 2013 - 2:10 PM

      and by “Story” I mean factual?

      • #13 by Keith Spillett on June 12, 2013 - 4:12 PM

        Sure. It’s composed of real molecules and all that. The only illusion is everything else.

      • #14 by Alton Belmont on June 13, 2013 - 2:07 AM

        Unfortunately, no. The article states that he was only a part of the cast in the 1990 season and that he sang a duet of “Stand by Me” with Brittney Spears. Brittney Spears didn’t join the cast til 1993. If that isn’t convincing, then consider that fact that Wolf Blitzer isn’t dead.

      • #15 by Keith Spillett on June 13, 2013 - 3:48 AM

        So….the part about the zebras….seemed to far-fetched?

  5. #16 by stefanie on June 12, 2013 - 2:43 PM

    This is gonna make me look like a total loser, but the picture is wrong. The kid in the back with the stripes is Justin Timberlake, the one next to him is Ryan Gosling. Maybe it’s the dude with the striped blue shirt in the front??

    • #17 by Keith Spillett on June 12, 2013 - 4:10 PM

      Nah…that’s him. JT and him looked a lot alike. That’s why they took him off the show.

  6. #18 by Universe Number Five on June 12, 2013 - 2:58 PM

    inb5 two mouse posts in a row??

  7. #20 by Gary Super Macho on June 12, 2013 - 3:23 PM

    “Tainted Shawarma” is my new band name.

  8. #22 by Christa 'Corpus Vermis' Thoroski on June 12, 2013 - 3:33 PM

    Dude, the kid in the striped shirt in the back by Ryan Gosling is Justin Timberlake. You sure you didn’t mean the kid sitting down?

  9. #24 by dodzilla on June 13, 2013 - 3:10 AM

    wolf blitzer (best name eva) being mauled by zebras? seems legit

  10. #25 by cj on June 14, 2013 - 11:30 PM

    no one else just wondering “what the fuck did i read?” im more taken aback that everyone connected to it “died”

  11. #26 by John Nelson on March 24, 2014 - 1:16 PM

    Who wouldn’t sign Ernest Borgnine’s shirt? What an ass…

    • #27 by Keith Spillett on March 24, 2014 - 7:39 PM

      I love when random “Wild Bunch” references aren’t completely wasted. You the man, John!

  12. #28 by Jason Felkel on December 22, 2015 - 11:48 AM

    Who gives a fuck if he was a mousekateer. At one time or another we were all sucking on our mommies tit. I remember being a kid in school that never fit in. I tried to mind my own busseness and walk in peace.Being picked on everyday,one day a kid spit a louie right in my face. Last straw muthrfkr! That day I fought back and ever since was never the same. Its who we become through our adversity that matters. Jamey Jasta is a fuckin hero in my book. His music saved my life when my world was dark and I thought I was beat. Anybody who really knows this band knows what Im talkin about. There badass.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: