Posts Tagged stupid crackhead burglars
Malevolent Creation Guitarist’s Heroic Brush With Death To Become Film Starring Jamie Foxx
Posted by Keith Spillett in General Weirdness on June 18, 2013
Often heroism takes place at the most unlikely moments. In the blink of an eye, lives can change dramatically and people can do things that forever leave them etched in the pages of history. When Malevolent Creation guitarist Phil Fasciana walked into a Fort Lauderdale convenience store to buy some chocolate milk on July 3rd, 2009, he could hardly have known that the next three minutes of his life were going to be the stuff legends are made of. Now, thanks to Fasciana’s bravery in the face of unthinkable danger, Hollywood has decided to turn his life into a motion picture starring superstar Jamie Foxx.
When Fasciana walked into the store, four shots were fired at him from about ten feet away. Using his martial arts training, he did a flip over the beef jerky display in order to avoid the hail of gunfire. In moments like this, an average man would have cowered behind the rack of Funyuns and waited for the police to show up and save them. Not Phil.
Realizing that the life of the storeowner was in danger, Phil snuck up behind the assailant and grabbed him, putting his own gun to the head of the “stupid crackhead burglar” and coolly told the man to stand down. When the “stupid crackhead burglar” reached for the spare gun he had in his sock, Phil did what John Wayne, Sylvester Stallone or any other great American would have done under the same circumstance; he sent three bullets through the crackhead’s skull, killing him instantly.
When police arrived on the scene, they discovered that the “crackhead” was actually a former KGB agent with ties to the feared Haqqani Network, a terrorist group based out of Afghanistan. Boris Volkov, known by his nickname Boris The Wolf, was attempting to finance a terrorist attack at Disney World by robbing local convenience stores throughout the state.
When the police later searched his home, they found a crude nuclear device that, if properly armed, could have wiped out 2/3s of the city of Orlando. It turns out that Phil hadn’t just saved one life; he had potentially saved hundreds of thousands.
In spite of this act of bravery, Phil has said little about the incident. He politely refused a ticker tape parade offered by the Mayor of Fort Lauderdale. The only reward he accepted for his act of valor was the storeowners offer of a lifetime supply of chocolate milk. He shunned the limelight and humbly went back to what he loved doing the most, playing heavy metal music.
Phil has fielded hundreds of calls from Hollywood studios wanting to turn his story into a movie, but had, up until this point, decided to stay in the shadows. However, when Universal Studios offered to donate one million dollars to poor refugee children in Nigeria as part of his payment for the rights to his story, he simply could not refuse.
Universal began shooting the film on Friday. Phil, who is credited as an associate producer on the film, believed that only Jamie Foxx could do justice to his story. “I remember when I used to watch Jamie on the TV show Roc back in the early 90s. I always thought ‘there is a guy who I have something in common with’. I’m a huge fan. Malevolent Creation was even considered covering “DJ Play A Love Song” on “Individous Dominion”, but we got cold feet.”
Studios are often skittish about having an African-American male play a role that seems designed for a white man, but Fasciana wanted the film break some of the racial stereotypes that he believes Hollywood perpetuates.
During his acceptance speech as winner of the Florida chapter of the NAACP’s “Man of The Year” award in 2011, Fasciana said he has and will continue to dedicate his life “to teaching others how to lovingly accept all men and women regardless of the color of their skin”. He believes that this casting decision will go a long way in “uniting America behind the vision Dr. King articulated in his poignant ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.”
“Malevolent Salvation” is scheduled to debut in theaters in the summer of 2016.