Rage Against The Machine and Sony Records Declare War on Capitalism

rage against the washing machine

Reunited rockers Rage Against The Machine have taken another bold stand against capitalism by re-signing with revolutionary record label Sony. The multinational corporate giant has made no secret of their hatred of consumer capitalism and plan to help Rage Against The Machine lead a worker revolt that will bring the current world order to its knees.

Guitarist Tom Morello announced their act of rebellion only moments after introducing the strongly anti-capitalist rock band Kiss during their induction to the Rock’N’Roll Hall of Fame. Kiss, who has refused to sell their lunchboxes, toys, and tee shirts to anyone who openly opposes the Zapatista revolution in Mexico, plan to release an anti-capitalismcore album called “Rockers of the World Unite” through Sony in the fall.

According to Sony spokesperson George Rockwell, “It is obvious that capitalism has failed. We plan on supporting America’s transition to communism by selling Che Guevara hoodies, Mao Tse-Tung denim jackets and Fidel Castro bobblehead dolls. Let’s face it, the only way to destroy capitalism is by using capitalism to sell products meant to destroy capitalism.”

Rage Against The Machine Che Tee Shirts

Morello’s contributions to the revolution have included contributing to the soundtracks of Talladega Nights: The Ricky Bobby Story and The A-Team movie. He and bandmate Zach de La Rocha’s music were also a part of the Trotskyite videogame Guitar Hero. Rage Against The Machine’s vitriolic stand against capitalism in all of its insidious forms has even managed to infect the iPod of former Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan, helping him through many difficult workouts.

Sony’s President Ron Boehner has made no secret of their support for “legends of anti-capitalism like Norm Chomsky and Erma Goldman”. Sony’s corporate vision includes turning all of their factories over to the workers by the year 3071 and helping to open more coal plants to slow the effects of global warming.

Tom Morello’s side project, Rage Against The Washing Machine Sponsored By The Whirlpool Corporation, are known for their rock covers of Pete Seeger and Paul Robeson songs.  They are currently touring malls throughout the Midwest.

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  1. #1 by myrondinkle on June 18, 2014 - 9:47 AM

    Hi Keith, Do you do commissioned work? What would you charge for an article written for my band in your awesome style? Something funny, a bit controversial, almost believable, you know… your expertise and wit! I could give you some background on us.

    Thanks, Greg

    • #2 by Keith Spillett on June 18, 2014 - 9:55 AM

      Thanks Myron! I appreciate the complement. What site would the article be for? I can’t do that on Tyranny, but I’ll do it anywhere else because I wouldn’t feel right about that.

      If I can come up with something that sounds cool, I’ll do it for free. Send me some info on what you are looking for kspillett14@yahoo.com or get me at the Facebook site.

  2. #3 by dannyemills on June 18, 2014 - 11:07 AM

    I actually wrote a song during my youthful musical and political awakening circa 1997 called ‘Rage against the washing machine’. I am thinking of bringing down the system from the inside by sueing Tom Morello for copywrite infringement. Because I have complete faith in the laws that support indescriminate and petty litigation on naught but a whim (see the ToT article ‘Danzig to sue everyone on earth’), the ensuing inevitable avalanche of money will be ploughed back into the production and promotion of a sequel anthem called: ‘ Sueing in the name of’.

    In a final twist, I shall use the profits to fund a mole to infiltrate Sony BMG’s A&R division (which I am led to believe is now comprised only of former HMV, Our Price, Virgin Music and Music Zone employees who trawl the internet looking for the next willing pre-pubescent pop-puppet who will wear flesh-coloured body stockings whilst cavorting on various popular building-site machinery)…what was I saying? Ah yes – The ‘mole’ will then set about promoting and signing only the most uncommercial and offensive artists around the world (I am thinking 2014’s answer to G.G.Allin or a new Danni Minogue single). It would also be quite useful for the mole to look like Scarlette Johanssen and to ingratiate herself with Doug Morris (Sony CEO) whilst signing all his money away into Bill Gates’ private offshore account.

  3. #5 by kuyenray on December 4, 2014 - 3:26 AM

    ni me reí … prometía más el artículo 😦 … I love RATM 😉

  4. #6 by Mark on January 6, 2016 - 6:18 PM

    Fucking Hipocryte Millionaires. Fuck you assholes. Rage against your lousy music. Maybe one song is ok….

    • #7 by Keith Spillett on January 6, 2016 - 7:02 PM

      Well….to be fair…they have a few good songs.

  1. Highlights KW 43 | drikkes.com/

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