You Attack Benton and Attempt to Behead Him


You charge towards Benton attempting to take advantage of him being momentarily surprised.  Wings begin to grow from Benton’s back.  Before he can morph into a dragon-like beast you slam a guitar into his head knocking him to the ground.  You jump on top of him and slam his head into the ground until he falls unconscious.  Knowing you only have a moment to take his head off, you quickly rip a string off of the bass, rap it around his neck and being spinning him around.  His head flies off and lands in the middle of the pit area.  Orange light shoots out of all the openings in his body.  You fight your way through the zombies, put Benton’s head in a burlap sack and run for the exit.

Two days later you are back at the Vatican, reading a recent edition of Guns and Ammo magazine in the Pope’s waiting room.  He calls you in and you hold up the burlap sack.  The Pope asks what is in the bag.  You reach in and pull out a head.

All of a sudden, the Pope begins laughing maniacally.  In a blur of light, his body and face transform into Glen Benton.  You look at the head you are holding up and realize that it is your own.

The End

  1. #1 by Gorgeous Gary on June 25, 2013 - 5:03 PM

    So…. I lose no matter what? Damn religion

  2. #3 by mirkinfirkin on June 25, 2013 - 10:16 PM

    So, Darth Vader was his father?

  3. #4 by Universe Number Five on June 26, 2013 - 6:28 AM

    Oh my goodness…. THIS is the greatest thing I’ve ever read possibly in my entire life… up to and including “The Boomer Bible” and “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.”

    • #5 by Keith Spillett on June 26, 2013 - 6:34 AM

      Having anything that comes out of my fingers compared to the Boomer Bible (and Dr. Seuss) is an honor!

  4. #6 by steve biros on May 22, 2015 - 4:42 PM

    Great story. \,,/ o0 \,,/

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