7 out of 10 Republican Voters Believe Mustaine Endorsement of Santorum Is “The Most Important Factor” In Presidential Race

In a recent Rasmussen poll of Republican voters, over 70 percent cited Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine’s endorsement of Rick Santorum as being the critical factor in their choice of candidates.  Mustaine’s endorsement ranked ahead of the economy, international terrorism, the myth of global warming, contraception, electability, a woman’s right to vote, the return of the messiah and abortion as being the most important factor in who they will choose to represent the Republican Party in November.  In spite of Santorum’s recent flood of absurd, borderline insane comments and Mustaine’s later remark that he had not, in fact, endorsed Santorum, the Megadeth connection has the former Pennsylvania Senator leading in the polls by as many as four percentage points.

Mustaine’s role as Republican king maker started back in 2004 when he announced his intention to vote for George W. Bush.  Bush was victorious.  Since then, many Americans have turned to Megadeth albums to help explain many of the difficult problems that face the nation. Mustaine, whose recent record Endgame railed against wireless tracking chips being put in people’s heads and Americans being forced into FEMA concentration camps, has become the snarling voice of the moderate wing of the Republican Party.

At a town hall meeting in Michigan, people were still abuzz with the news of Mustaine’s “endorsement”.  “I feel like Mustaine and I have a lot in common,” said 83-year-old Jane Summerville of Ypsilanti, “We both support a candidate who doesn’t follow the instructions of the New Ways Evil Book of Rules.  And that man is Rick Santorum.”

Agnes Murphy, 63, of Auburn Hills was even more impressed.  “I have been unhappy with many of the Republican candidates this year.  It’s like I told my husband, ‘If there’s a new way, I’ll be the first in line.  But it better work this time!’  Santorum has some radically new ideas.  I don’t care what the liberals say; it’s still we the people.  Right?”  announced Murphy while pacing, foaming at the mouth and waving her arms wildly.

According to James Sullivan, Santorum’s campaign manager in Detroit, Mustaine’s endorsement gives them an excellent chance to vanquish Obama, their hated foe.  “Obama is like the Pied Piper, leading rats through the streets.  And Americans are dancing like marionettes,” howled Sullivan at a room full of shrieking, Megadeth tee shirt wearing Republicans.

Mustaine’s foray into politics may be the most successful attempt for a metal artist to influence a major election, but it certainly isn’t the first.  Quorthon, of Bathory fame, actually spent much of 1984 away from music helping to run Ronald Reagan’s Presidential campaign in Utah.  Back in 1956, Slayer vocalist Tom Araya made history by supporting Adalai Stevenson in his battle against Republican incumbent Dwight Eisenhower. And who could forget when Tom Angelripper of Sodom threw his weight behind Rutherford B. Hayes in his election campaign against Samuel Tilden in 1876.

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  1. #1 by Universe Number Five on February 28, 2012 - 5:27 PM

    If it’s good enough for MegaDave and Agnes Murphy, then by-gum (Bobby Bowden-ism) it’s good for Murr-kah!

  2. #3 by Dave on February 28, 2012 - 7:32 PM

    Classic!

    By the way, you neglected to mention that Lemmy helped William Henry Harrison win the 1840 Whig Party Iowa Territory caucuses.

    • #4 by Keith Spillett on February 28, 2012 - 7:34 PM

      You are correct. A major oversight on my part. Lemmy’s work with the Whigs is legendary. I like it almost as much as I like his stuff in Hawkwind.

  3. #5 by John Erickson on February 28, 2012 - 9:41 PM

    I don’t know about you, but not even a stiff dose of Vicodin can help me make sense of Rick Santorum. Though the same holds true for just about all the current crop of politicians. The only positive thing I can pull from all the campaigning BS is, it gives Jon Stewart an Stephen Colbert some kick-butt material!
    By the by, I believe Stephen Colbert has William Shatner on tomorrow night (I think – it might be tonight). Two of the most titanically huge egos, clashing on one stage. This may be the way the world ends, and it’s gonna be AWESOME! 😀

  4. #6 by Hasan on May 24, 2012 - 4:15 AM

    something like, Frankly, we’ve got plenty to do aruond here without having to repeatedly defend a law arising from a wedge issue trotted out to score political points and prevent a problem that only exists in the minds of some prejudiced people. I’d like to think Obama is on a boldness kick and has rediscovered where his support lies, but I don’t. He’s been a no show in the battle going on in Wisconsin, disgustingly so. His SOTU and budget both serve to validate Republicans’ politically self-serving talking points about the need to cut spending, even though doing so will only stall or reverse economic recovery — ironically, postponing the day when the economy is finally back in shape and some serious deficit reduction can take place without spiking unemployment and chilling demand.Oh yes, Obama is a far better president than the one he replaced. But this period we’re in calls for a Roosevelt, Truman or Johnson-type fighter and reformer, not an appeaser. The fact Obama either doesn’t understand that or does but chooses to ignore it leaves him as a muddler who’s blowing more opportunities to make a difference, to set things right, than most presidents ever get.

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