Black Metal Lives Matter To Presidential Hopeful Ben Carson

In these turbulent times in America, many voices are clamoring for attention in the name of a cause. From the Emo Lives Don’t Matter movement to the Tofu Personhood Riots, it seems that passionate activism is on the rise throughout this nation, and one presidential hopeful is bringing attention to the very disturbing rise in black metal on black metal violence.
Ben Carson may appear to be a shy and reserved politician at first glance, but dig below that stuffy exterior, and there is a blast beating heart in tune with the plight of the metal community that has been reeling from attacks from within and without.

Dr. Carson, who is a neurosurgeon by trade, tells of a youth that was transformed by his mother’s encouragement and access to her collection of bootleg metal cassettes. By the age of three, the child’s mother had dubbed him Ben “Cannibal” Carson after her favorite death metal band, Cannibal Corpse. Mrs. Carson has confirmed that Ben’s medical background was strongly influenced by “Butchered At Birth” and “Tomb Of The Mutilated”.   Ben was able to test out of anatomy class due to hours spent studying the album covers along with repeated bedtime telling of George Fischer’s popup book, One Corpse, Two Corpse, Red Corpse, Blue Corpse.

When he was in his early 20s, a friend of Carson’s from his “Survivors of Ayn Rand Novels” support group turned him on to Emperor.  Within weeks, Dr. Carson became a full-fledged black metal fan.  The music gave him a sense of mission.  Carson began working to raise money for black metal orphans throughout Scandinavia and Belarus.  Even his political detractors point to his work in the “Save The Black Metal Sea Lion” movement as an example of his love for all life.

When “Cannibal” Carson hit the campaign trail this summer to seek the Republican presidential nomination, he announced that he just couldn’t ignore a cause which is very close and dear to him, so he launched the Black Metal Lives Matter project to draw attention to those who suffer in the name of metal. Using the hashtag #AllBlackMetalLivesMatter, Carson has been raising awareness of the undercurrent of violence that permeates the extreme metal scene world wide.
In a recent YouTube video, Dr. Carson donned corpse paint and a stage costume he bought at one of Abbath’s yard sale fundraisers and pleaded with the black metal community to forego their violence against one another and turn that rage towards those more deserving, such as rapcore fans or Jehovah’s Witnesses.

“Who better to chase down the road with a battle axe than a couple literature junkies that wake you up at noon on a Saturday? Why pummel a fellow member of the left hand path, when you can jack up some Limp Bizkit fan? Isn’t it time we stop asking ourselves “What Would Varg Vikernes Do”?”

, , , ,

  1. #1 by goldfish on September 25, 2015 - 1:46 PM

    One Corpse, Two Corpse, Red Corpse, Blue Corpse was one of my favorite Seuss books, only topped by Black Death and Ham and The Cat In The Corpse Paint.

  2. #2 by Metal Mike on September 27, 2015 - 12:48 PM

    I once again need to reblog. You’re stuff is amazing! Haha!!!!

  3. #4 by Kelly Mitchell on April 8, 2016 - 9:30 AM

    Many months later and this still makes me laugh. I need to get to one of Abbath’s yard sales immediately.

    • #5 by Keith Spillett on April 8, 2016 - 12:57 PM

      Thank you! I’m glad the article outlasted Carson’s campaign.

  1. Black Metal Lives Matter To Presidential Hopeful Ben Carson | Confessions of an Angry Metalhead

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s