Former Celtic Frost front man, Thomas Gabriel Fischer aka Tom G. Warrior, is allegedly considering pursuing litigation against the one hit wonder 80’s band, Wall of Voodoo for copyright violation concerning their alleged smash hit, “Mexican Radio”. Metal fans will recall that the song “Mexican Radio” appeared on Celtic Frost’s 1987 album Into The Pandemonium and seemed completely out of place among such tracks as Inner Sanctum and Babylon Fell, but Frost fans were so enraged by the album’s stylistic departure from the former Morbid Tales and To Mega Therion, that “Mexican Radio” barely registered on their collective ragedar. Since Wall of Voodoo released “Mexican Radio” in 1983, there seems to be a bit of confusion as to why Warrior might be suing over a song that he didn’t record until 1987. Documents obtained through the Freedom Of Metal Information Act confirm that there was never any legal agreement sought by Wall Of Voodoo to purchase rights from Warrior to record a song, so we sent our astute reporting team to Zurich Switzerland to track down the truth, which strangely enough, starts in a frozen yogurt shop. Blastbeat Robins employee, Alexandre Federspiel, was working the day that Warrior seemed to experience a metal breakdown,
“It was a Friday, and I had just filled the fro-yo machine with a batch of Monsanto Melon Chunk yogurt and I turned around and Tom G. is standing there at the counter glaring at me. He tells me to get him the usual, which is a six hundred and sixty six gram serving of Blacker Than The Blackest Black Black Licorice with chocolate ganacheous sprinkles, and he suddenly gets this squirrelly eyed expression on his face.
I couldn’t figure out what was going on, and before I can give him his yogurt, he’s running from person to person asking them what song is playing on the sound system and then sprints out the door. I focused a minute and realized the song coming through the speakers is Mexican Radio, but not Radio like I’ve ever heard it before, this was, obscene sounding, like the time I heard A Dying God Coming Into Human Flesh played on the harpsichord and kazoo by that Mennonite praise band that is always pestering me for free samples. Sickening.”
With leads quickly drying up in Zurich, we were pleased to reach one of Tom G’s agent, Mr. F. via ticker tape to get some insight into just what caused Mr. Warrior such distress. Mr. F. confirmed to us that Mr. Warrior was highly disturbed by the fact that he had no idea that another version of his song even existed, especially a version that was released 4 years prior to his recording that selfsame song. In his efforts to come up with a plausible explanation, Mr. Warrior posited that the lead singer for Wall of Voodoo, Stan Ridgeway, must have broken into his home sometime around 1983 and heard Tom singing Mexican Radio’s precursor, Tijuana Transistor, in the shower and stole it for his band. This theory only has one problem, Stan Ridgeway was under house arrest in 1983 for stealing cans of pork and beans from conveyance stores and pouring them over his head while exposing himself to Mormon missionaries. When we brought this to Mr. F’s attention, he replied back that Mr. Warrior was deeply distressed that his initial theory has proven to be incorrect and that he has started corresponding with Stephen Hawking, a well known Triptykon fan, about the possibilities of wormholes and time travel. Anyone who is interested in assisting with Mr. Warrior’s legal expenses may make a tax deductible donation to his non profit organization, Black Metal Beanies.