The American Psychiatric Association announced today that they have classified a new mental illness known as David Coverdale’s Disorder. DCD is a disorder named for Whitesnake frontman David Coverdale, and it is characterized by a high degree of salaciousness and narcissism that can be devastating to affected individuals.
The APA has published a list of associated symptoms and encourage people who suspect they may have DCD to contact a mental health professional right away. Males 35-45 are considered the highest risk group.
- Relentless sexual arousal, regardless of the circumstances
- Uncontrollable sweating
- A hugely inflated sense of self
- Compulsive use of double entendres or innuendo
- Kissing with tongue exclusively, including family members
- Increased cheesiness
- A tendency to walk the streets at night (also associated with Dokken’s Syndrome)
- Strong attraction to torrid situations
- High saliva production
- Leathery skin
- Body odor that mimics cologne or body spray
- Excessive smugness
- A penchant for medallions
As of yet, no single course of treatment for this disorder is proven, though members of the health community expect that its effects are reduced through aging or an acrimonious split with Tawny Kitaen.