Rancid Set To Record Their First Ever American English Language Album

rancid After spending the better part of 20 years uttering a completely indecipherable mixture of portuguese, broken English, latin, spanish, urdu, punjabi, swahili, clicking noises and grunts, ska punk band Rancid plans to record their next album “Songs That Kind of Sound Like The Clash” in pure American English.  The band’s “singer”, Tim Armstrong has spent the last six months in an intensive American English language immersion program that will allow him to sing in a way that is moderately coherent to the people of The Greatest People on Earth.

Early on in his career, many music fans believed that Rancid’s enigmatic singer was attempting to gain a distinct sound for the band that allowed them to stand apart from the other 7,000 or so bands who came out around that time and sounded exactly the same.  Others were concerned he had accidentally severed his tongue.  At first, Armstrong was troubled by these accusations, but later he learned to brush aside many of the criticisms.

He told Rolling Stone magazine in an interview last year this year that “sema cunna sima, heh heh, the new kid is blacajema, sayin’ like a hema slucka jem-inon, heh, Yeah!  Sa…YEAH!” While Rancid’s fame has diminished over the past few years, many fans still fondly remember when they rocketed to fame on the heels over several hit singles including “Ruby Soho”, “Roots Radical” and “Semi-Comma Henem Draaba”.

Armstrong At A Political Rally Last Fall

Armstrong At A Political Rally Last Fall

In 2004, they recorded the critically acclaimed “Ehhh..Guple Dema”, a poignant reflection on Tim Armstrong’s difficult divorce and his lifelong battle with cerebral moosebumps.  After that, they all but disappeared from the music scene. Now, they are back and ready to make sense.  They parted ways with long time concert translator Michael Stepanac and plan to rely solely on words that can be understood by a good portion of the Hardworking and Pious American Public.

Rancid had faced protests at concerts back in the early 2000s from nativist groups who wanted to deport Armstrong to Iraq for not speaking, as Moral Majority Leader Jerry Falwell referred to it,  “The Language of God and Freedom”. Many Americans, particularly in the southeastern portion of The Land Our Savior Has Smiled Upon and Granted Endless Bounty have taken a break from getting worked up about the many satanic spells buried in the obamacare bill and have become deeply concerned about this new assault upon Our Way of Life.

Lawmakers in Georgia have considered passing legislation that prohibits Armstrong from speaking anywhere in the state.  In Texas, many Righteous and Upstanding Citizens of This Great Nation are concerned that the new album will begin in English and then veer off into “one of the many mud languages spoken by the terrorists who live in other countries”. According to former Texas governor Rick Perry, “This new album is like that Trojan Horse that the Romans used to defeat the Germans in World War The First One.  It will pretend to be in American English, but if you play it backwards, it will be no different than their earlier stuff.”

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  1. #1 by Fried Chicken And Metal on February 21, 2014 - 11:43 AM

    Kodobaybee wonshoo showmee watchagotcha… I wanja sal vazion whoa-oh

  2. #3 by Jason Snakearm on February 21, 2014 - 2:31 PM

    very funny

  3. #4 by Jake on February 21, 2014 - 9:43 PM

    A-May-Zing

  4. #5 by Mit on February 22, 2014 - 12:14 AM

    This author is a dumb ass. I’m not going to say every lyric is completely coherent but 95% of them are in English and understandable. You think Tim Armstrong is hard to understand then try black metal. I bet he would talk trash about that whole genre because he is too narrow minded to understand someone else’s artistic expression. I think someone is jealous that musicians get the girls instead of blog writers.
    Also they have not written any good songs since 2000. Shows what you know about music.

    • #6 by Tom on February 24, 2014 - 2:48 PM

      It’s satire ass-hat.

  5. #7 by Mickey Finn on February 22, 2014 - 3:51 PM

    HAHAHAHA, LMAO!!! The language thing is a bit exaggerated, but the “Songs That Kind of Sound Like The Clash” is
    pretty on the money. I still love Rancid, and if your gonna rip off someones sound at least they picked a GREAT band!

  6. #8 by Pepe Silvia on February 22, 2014 - 4:45 PM

    Aww, someone got all butthurt about a funny joke. I bet you don’t take yourself or your interests too seriously at all. Nope, not you. You’re just a well adjusted person throwing fits about humor.

  7. #9 by Runt on February 23, 2014 - 1:23 AM

    Super cool that you guys can poke fun at a guy with a speech impediment brought out by his dyslexia… Good one!

    • #10 by Keith Spillett on February 23, 2014 - 11:56 AM

      He has no speech issue when he’s not singing. Maybe it’s because he has diverticulitis.

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